This is something else. Part of the appeal to me of keeping this site going, amid insurmountable debt, depleting free time, college workload, etc. is the opportunity to immortalize things. Sure, generally they’re banal and of not much interest to the general public, but it feels inexplicably good to put pieces of myself, my past, out there for the world to bare witness to. My landmark article 25 Years of Me is both a fan favorite and personal accomplishment for me. Now, I’m too young to start thinking of my legacy yet, not the type to thumb through tombs in decrepit old libraries pondering what will be thought of me long after my time has expired here on earth; but, while Review the World still has a heartbeat I plan on continuing sharing of myself honestly and genuinely because that’s what this project is all about.
So, let’s talk about Gatlinburg, shall we? Back in June of 2001, my then girlfriend Molly, friends Steve and Didge (short for 7 Digits—it’s a long story) took a trip there for a getaway weekend. Now, first and foremost, I need to warn those who brave the videos below, these were shot for our own amusement and preservation, never were they intended to be shared, especially en masse, with the entire world. Watching this home video back now—wow. In the past eight years so much has changed. The only one of the three that I still speak to is Steve, and had he not recently had a child with my cousin, speaking candidly we’d probably not talk all that much, either. In the video, us guys, and embarrassingly myself predominantly, sometimes speak in a high-pitched shorthand vernacular that’s no so much colloquial speak but just damn annoying. I apologize ahead of time but make no explanation here. The video is as it was originally shot, frame for frame, as I took nothing out.
As I said, a lot has changed since then, for me, for all of us, but it’s a lot of fun, even if just momentarily, to drift back to a more simplistic time, when freedom seemed to be abundant, and the future was a big, beautiful mystery.
Watch
Part 1
The first section has a lot
of variety. It starts out with my alarm blaring at 8:00AM as I shot
the first second of footage before even leaving my bed. Steve picks
me up, and then we’re off, picking up Molly and later Didge. We take
care of some last minute things, drive through our hometown of Hamilton,
OH, seeing a few interesting characters along the way. The drive
to Tennessee is captured including a pit stop for lunch. The video
ends with us arriving at our hotel, the Family Inn, in Pigeon Forge, TN.
We get lost trying to find our rooms.
Watch
Part 2
Next, we hop a fence and take
a swim in a restricted pool area. Later, we take a drive down the
strip in Gatlinburg to get our first glimpse of the city’s nightlife.
Lastly, and one of the more memorable incidents, I get a call from next
door only to discover Steve had completely broken his bed. Needless
to say, he wasn’t too happy when I showed up with the camcorder laughing
hysterically.
Watch
Part 3
So, someone was sent to look
at Steve’s shattered bed; in the meantime, we headed out for some late-night
arcade action. In some footage that best exemplifies our trip, you
see us all playing different games, the highlight being Steve’s two battles
with Uncle Fester and his electrifying challenge game, as well as an ancient
old man peering over Steve’s shoulder in one of my favorite visuals.
The video ends with the morning of our second day, as I document the wildness
of the previous night and we start off for another day of adventure.
Watch
Part 4
The first-half of this part
shows us just making our way from lunch to downtown Gatlinburg and exploring
on foot. The second-half was kind of a fun thrill for me, as, I essentially
brought my camcorder with me on a free tour of the amazing Ripley’s Believe
It or Not museum. I’m not sure how it translates, especially to someone
who has never been there, but for me, it was one of the trip highlights
getting access and filming freely inside of there.
Watch
Part 5
The fifth part has a lot of
good stuff on it. First, we set off to the World of Illusions.
Now, firsthand, this place was incredibly cheap and ridiculous, which is
sort of charming in retrospect, but at the time, we walked through it making
bad cracks and obscure inside jokes throughout the entire thing.
Next, we walk through some nearby stores, including one particularly dank
grocery where I find a “packaged woman”. Lastly, we meet, amuse,
chat, and harass a guy working at the Hard Rock Café. Oddly
enough, several years later, I was back in the area and he was still working
the door there.
Watch
Part 6
This is probably the most odd
portion of the video, as we took an alternate route back to our parked
car and walked for what felt like eternity. To distract myself I
let the camera roll a lot of the way and documented our disgruntled journey.
Watch
Part 7
We then played a scary amount
of putt-putt (or miniature) golf. There is one thing you need to
see, the rest, well, skip it unless you’ve got an inordinate amount of
time on your hands. What is it? I got a fucking hole in one
on my very first swing on the first hole! Now that I could watch
all day…
Watch
Part 8
Yes, I’m afraid so, more from
the same long, arduous game of miniature golf. Now, don’t get me
wrong, it was a blast when it was actually transpiring. But, if you
sit through this whole thing, well, you’ll earn yourself some sort of ribbon
of RtW super fan legitimacy.
Watch
Part 9
The last portion shows the
epic (well not really) finale to the miniature golf game. It also
shows Steve and Didge braving skydiving of sorts. Lastly, we say
our goodbyes to our seedy lodgings, hit one last arcade for some farewell
gaming, and hit the road back to Ohio.
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- Brian