This article will be lots of ranting and raving on random things that really irritate me. Enough introductions, I think the title speaks for itself.

1) People with bumper stickers that say “Got Jesus?” or “God is Good” who drive about ten miles under the actual speed limit.
Have you ever noticed this? You know, you’re cruisin’ around on a country road somewhere outside of nowhere and then you get behind a car that has these religion bumper stickers all over it! You can’t pass them because it’s a double yellow line on the road so you drive, and drive, and drive, hoping sometime they’ll turn off the road to go blow a yak in the middle of a field. But, they never turn off and every second that passes by you get more and more pissed until eventually you start screaming at the steering wheel. These people drive around like they’re gonna get stricken down if they go even one mile over the speed limit. Folks, let me tell you something, Jesus doesn’t really care how fast you drive because if he did, he would’ve been a state trooper.

2) Reality TV
Damn, I hate reality TV! I was flipping through channels the other day and for some reason I stopped on “Big Brother All-Stars.” Now if what I saw wasn’t the definition of insanity then I don’t know what is. There were people hanging from this net that was hung up in the air and looked like a spider web. The object to this utterly retarded game was to be the last person standing … err, hanging that is, and if you were said person, you gained immunity. Ummm … yeah. Would someone care to explain to me where in reality this is? That’s not what reality TV should be!! Reality TV should be sticking ten people in a house that really hate each other. Eventually, they’ll get so pissed at each other they’ll start beating the shit out of each other and the last person standing would win absolutely nothing! You know what the best reality show on TV is? “The Ultimate Fighter”. You know why? Because if they don’t like someone, they fight it out in an octagon until one person can’t continue. Now that’s fucking reality friends.

3) Musicals
Simply put … if you were walking down Main Street and randomly burst into song and started tap dancing, you would be in a mental home before you could sing “The hills are alive with the sound of music.” I don’t know what is about musicals that I can’t get into. Perhaps it’s the thought of a guy in a three piece suit singing in the rain. I’m glad that’s one genre of movies that has almost vanished forever.

4) People who come to a complete stop at yield signs
What was it my driving instructor used to say? Ah, yes “I yield and yield and nobody came.” For me, it’s more like “I yelled and screamed and nobody went!” I think these people need to figure out whether they’re coming or going!

5) FM Radio
Just so everyone knows, 99% of the time I’m driving around, I’m listening to either WLW-AM, a CD, or my iPod. I don’t know what it is about FM radio that I can’t stand. Maybe it’s the idiot DJs that talk just to hear their own voice. Maybe it’s because alternative rock station plays the same damn songs all the time. Maybe it’s because every station is a clear channel station and plays maybe five minutes of music and ten minutes of commercials. Or maybe it’s just because there aren’t any good FM stations in the Cincinnati area. There was one FM station that I listened to religiously at that was 97.7 until they changed formats in the early summer of 2005. Now, if I want to listen to the radio, I choose online radio and my personal favorite WOXY.com.

There you have it, five things that I can’t stand. Until next time, I’m the colonel and you’re not!

- Adam