I decided to do another countdown because from what I hear the Christmas one was pretty popular.  I've had a few people asking me if I'm going to do another.  So here it is folks.  The 5 horror movies that seemed like a good idea at the time.  These movies are the product of the filmmakers smoking too much bud or the victim of production companies.  You be the judge there because  I didn't really research any of it.  I just know these movies seemed awesome at the time but drowned in the seas of their own hype or just drowned period

I can't send you to your room so go to the corner and think about what you've done young man.  The horror!!!!

1.  The Blair Witch Project – This was the first movie I walked out of and felt as though I was ripped off.  After watching this I thought I had just scene a public announcement about motion sickness.  What do we get here?  Some people wandering in the woods.  Terrible use of a camcorder.  A dude standing in the corner facing it..........What?  I said that right.  No horrifying wounds.  No freakish deformities. No.  The Blair Witch sent this poor sap to stand in the corner and think about what he had done.  Oh yeah we also get one runny nose.  The horror!!!!!!!!

Watch Instead:  The Haunting  1963(Not the Remake)- A great experiment in fear.  You want to be afraid of what you don't see.  This movie broke ground in my opinion.  Using sound and atmosphere to make it one freaky watch.

 
Micheal Myers is a force of evil.  Forces of evil do not need to be eight feet tall to be scary.

2.  Halloween the 2008 remake – Okay okay this movie was okay.  But you mean to tell me that Micheal Myers, the embodiment of pure evil.  An unstoppable cipher for homicidal forces and malicious tendencies.  The Pied piper of piercing skin with a kitchen knife is reduced to nothing less than a child with a broken home?  Come on.  If everyone who came from a broken home ended up this way then all of us would be dead right now and the earth would be in shambles. Unfortunately Laurie Strode, originally was supposed to be tasteful, smart, headstrong with a very good survival instinct ended up being a squawky, gawky little annoyance.  Bad Rob Zombie.  Bad. Start making original stuff or go back to writing whole albums around the word yeah.

Watch Instead:  I know most of you have seen Halloween....So watch the Prowler instead.  Valentine's Day getting ruined in the most brutal fashion.  You'll thank me later.....Hopefully.

Jason doing his best impression of Captain Ahab

3.  Friday the 13th part 8:  Jason Takes Manhattan – This had the makings to be something special. Jason Voorhees running amok in New York City.  Hell yes sign me the fuck up.  But.......It ended up being Jason takes to the seas.  Not only did it suffer from sub par kills.  Unfortunately by this point any suspense or shock was gone.  Jason did however look like a mucho badass in this one.  It just wasn't enough though.  All through the movie Jason is killing people on a boat.  When they arrive in New York the movie is already over half done with.  Boring, uninspired.  This had the makings of greatness. How much fun could they have had if they went buck wild with the concept?

Watch Instead:  Intruder – A slasher movie set in of all places......A grocery store.  Pure cheesy fun with lots of blood and use of the setting unlike Jason takes Manhattan.

The killer in Black Christmas showing that clearly at some point he was stained by urine.

4. Black Christmas 2006 remake – What happens when you take Bob Clark's original baby, strip out all suspense.  Take away any eerie-ness in the atmosphere of the house.  Add an unhealthy disliking for eyeballs.  Mix in two parts goofy motive and double killers.  What do you get?  An abomination committed to celluloid.  I admit initially I liked this but damn I watched it again the other day and thought why?  Why horror film gods have you forsaken me?  We get an incestuous family.  People crawling under the house and through the walls.  With absolutely no suspense or creepiness whatsoever.

Watch Instead:  Dog Soldiers – Not a slasher but damn is this movie badass.  You barely see the wolves half the time.  On top of that the characters are cool and actually make it a point to not do stupid things to serve the plot.  They fight back with everything they have.  Seriously this is an awesome werewolf movie.

Can anybody give me directions on how to how to operate this?

5. Texas Chainsaw Massacre:  The Beginning -  I will say on some level I dug this movie.  The part when Leatherface actually fires up the chainsaw was pretty epic in my opinion.  I liked the remake too.  Unnecessary as most all remakes are.  When this was first announced though, I was hoping we would get a view into the twisted history of how the Hewitt family came to being.  Yeah we've seen twisted , inbred families before.  But..........The Hewitts are special.  I mean, Leatherface is one of the more iconic movie psychos ever.  So seeing into his eyes would have been an interesting yet dark take on the series.  Instead all we got was almost a scene for scene recreation of the Texas Chainsaw Remake.  Boooooooo!!!!

Watch Instead:  1408 – This was the little Stephen King adaption that could.  To me it was criminally overlooked when it came out.  The haunting of this one hotel room was just epic in so many ways due the limited space that was being worked with.  Instead of a whole house, we get a whole room.  Making it somewhat claustrophobic.  Plus Samuel L. Jackson doing what he does, and John Cusack being awesome as usual.  Loved it.

- Darrel