"Jess, Benoit's dead." I recevied this message on my cell phone around quarter after 8 on Monday night, June 25th. I couldn't quite hear the muffled voice of fellow wrestling enthusiast Adam Sanders. The voice sounded rushed and in a panic of sorts, all I could make out was someone was dead. I listened several more times, 3 more to be exact, trying to flesh out the phonetics from his voice and finally, after that third time, I heard the name Benoit. I immediately called my friend Brian, webmaster of this site, as I hid from my boss at work. I was on the clock at my part time job at Burlington Coat Factory and the store was in closing mode. This is a time at night where I'm usually focused on doing my job, which at that juncture of my evening, is picking up clothes and making sure all the racks look good for the morning. But all that was running through my mind was Benoit's dead? How can this be? He's Chris Benoit, one of the finest wrestlers in all of the sport we love so much, and at times hate so much, but that's a different topic for a different time. I got a hold of Brian and I revealed what I had just learned, which to his reacation was immense shock. He must have already been online because instantly he gave me the next bit of information.
"Jess, it's not just Benoit, it's his whole family. His wife and his young son, they were all found dead in their home." The magnitude of that statement shot through my brain like a magnet pulled it in and it laid heavy on my mind. I was in a state of disbelief. How could this happen? I thought foul play, instantly, knowing that Benoit had missed 2 shows over the weekend, one being a PPV for what was said to be family reasons. Did this tie into what had tragically happened? Brian told me there was no gunshots or stab wounds discovered. That was strange. Usually in a murder situation, guns and to a lesser degree, knives, are your prime suspect, but if they weren't used as the instruments of death, what could it have been? Poison? I quickly let the idea pass through my head that somehow Benoit himself was maybe responsible, just as Brian stated the very same theory out loud. We both discussed the possibility briefly, then dismissed it just as soon as it came. Was it Kevin Sullivan? Had wrestling and real life crossed paths again? I felt bad saying it, but the guy is insane, could it have been a horrible kidnapping gone wrong? I didn't know, I felt as many crazy theories entering my head like I was writing the Vince McMahon limo explosion storyline. I knew McMahon would have to come clean with his bogus storyline; it's in the ultimate bad taste to mimic a real life tragedy of one of your most valued employees after such a heinous atrocity had taken place. The scheduled 3 hour wrestling program was going to be another tribute show, one that has been done in the past for Owen Hart and Eddie Guerrero. I never wanted to see another one; they almost feel commonplace anymore.
I thought of my cousin Chris. He worshipped Benoit when he was a teenager and looked up to him, and Chris was not a man that looked up to many. He was prideful and wore a tough exterior, but I knew he had to be broken up about Benoit. I called him, and he didn't sound well. His voice was low and unclear and I knew it was not the time. I made calls to other friends of mine to either fill them in on the tragedy or discuss the horrendous account one more time. I went home and watched Raw live (a rare occasion with the advent of DVR) and watched Vince McMahon and the rest of his WWE Superstars pay tribute to, unquestionably, one of the best and hardest working men to ever compete in a pro ring. His videos, his matches, his friends pouring their hearts out, all in the memory and honor of The Crippler Chris Benoit. It was a very fitting tribute, one full of nothing but pure emotion and respect because if there was one thing Benoit had earned from wrestling fans worldwide and his peers, it was respect.
This morning, I rose early, nearly 6:30, as I always do to get ready for work. I unplugged my cell phone, preparing for another mundane day at the office, but saw I had a phone message. I played it groggily but I recognized Brian's voice. He was telling me there was an ugly side to the story; authorities believe that Chris Benoit was responsible for killing his wife Nancy and his 7 year old son, Daniel then ultimately himself. I must have been sleeping when he called, or enraptured with the heartfelt program the WWE had produced the night before and not heard the call. But, after hearing the message, I turned around quickly, as if something evil had stepped foot into my apartment. I had a black, dark feeling in the pit of my stomach and sickness would not have been a surprise at that moment. Benoit was responsible. One of the most intense, one of the most techincal, possibly the greatest pure wrestler of all time, a favorite among fans, respected among his peers, and loved by all that knew him, had been guilty of this monstrous, evil crime. I drove to work in a different daze than my normal sleep induced one. I knew there would be an email from Brian awaiting me at work, expounding on details I didn't know about, ones I had never considered and sure enough it was there and it hit me like a ton of cement. The Subject line read "Benoit did it." it was an attachment and it was "he did it." I'm still staring at those three simple words even as I write this piece, if you can call it that, it's merely just an account of my last 12 or so hours on this planet, my involvement in the tragedy of the Benoit family because even though I am in no way involved with it, it has dominated my mind since last night and will in some way continue to for some time, I'm sure. It's a hauting thing to remember and a very hard reality to except. Chris Benoit would have been remembered as one of the best in the world, a Hall of Famer for sure, but now, he will always be known as a murderer and a deeply disturbed man who perpetrated one of the most heartless crimes capable of human beings. How will WWE justify it's 3 hour tribute to such a man? How will he be portrayed from now on within the wrestling community and in the hearts and minds of fans?
This isn't really an article or an editorial, as I stated before. It's a collection of thoughts, confused ones at best. I'm sure investigators are trying to put the pieces of this crime back together to find a motive or a cause, but we may never know exactly what was going through the mind of a man who it now seems was not who he seemed to be. Chris Benoit will be remembered, for his accomplishments, his heart, his courage, and his intensity, all inside the wrestling ring, but as a person, Chris Benoit will not be rememberd fondly and that saddens me to say more than I could have imagined. I offer all my prayers and well wishes to Chris and Nancy's two remaining children, their remaining family and for the three family members who are gone, Daniel, Nancy and Chris Benoit.
- Jessie