My mother tried. It was Christmas of 1945 that my mother gave me a diary. I had no idea of what to do with the thing. It must have been a five-year diary as it only had about three lines to write on per day.
So I gave it a try for a couple of weeks. “Played with the dogs.” “Snowed this afternoon.” “Had a cold so I didn’t go to school.”
Then I quit. I really didn’t have anything to say so it just dropped the diary on the top of my dresser and there it stayed until my mother gave up and put it in the drawer. So here I am. Reviewing the world of the past when I can’t even remember what happened yesterday.
With no journal or dairy to work from, I have to make up things and dates and all that other stuff that no one can call me on because if I can’t figure out when something happened, how can you? For instance, I have no idea what year it was my mother gave me the diary. So to make it sound authentic and dramatic, I made up a year. I figure that I’ll hit it within a couple of years one way or another and you’re sure not going to know the difference.
So, while everything is fresh in my mind, today I went to the grocery store. I remembered to do that because I haven’t had anything to eat for lunch for three days (it was really only two days but three makes it sound more dramatic) and I figured it was time to fill up several bags with what passes for food with me these days.
I bought the usual tomato soup, several boxes of cereal, a pile of cheap frozen dinners, and a couple of containers of 1.75 quart Moose Tracks ice cream. I figure if what I eat is good enough to keep a gerbil alive, it will probably keep me walking, talking, and typing for another week.
So I hit the checkout stand, the clerk rings it up, and there it is, almost $45.00 (it was really $40.32 but since I’m almost 71, I’ve noticed that a bunch of exact details tends to get on my nerves).
After getting home and putting everything away, I decided that since I was in my living room with the blinds closed and since I had my nude modeling license in my billfold, I could safely strip off and replace everything on my raggedy body and be ready for the next part of the day. The first thing that drifted through my mind on a quantum cloud of quarks and street dust that followed me through the front door was checking out a Deepak Chopra book called “Life After Death,” that I bought a couple of weeks ago at a thrift store down on Federal. For some reason I like these alternate religion books so I read The Life Beyond, a 21 page Memoir that begins the book. It had enough sci-fi and alternate reality stuff in it to keep my attention for an hour.
Later I watched the CBS Evening News with Katie Couric. Surprise, surprise, she was actually on the show tonight. With synergy piling up, what did Katie have but a long rendering on the large percentages of people who are ready to accept alternative spiritual beliefs, like those of Chopra. Then there were a few clips from the life of George Carlin who was also born in 1937. Sorry, George. It really makes me feel old to know I’m still in the running and you’re forever gone. Nevertheless, even through I was never one of your habitual fans, I certainly knew who you were and really wanted to go see you in Denver when you were here in Denver on April 12, 2008. That’s what I get for putting things off.
I’m getting ready to watch the Mole. This is one of those tedious shows where all the contestants on the show run around talking trash at each other even though only one of them are getting paid to do it. I narrowed it down to two on the first show. So far, they are both still on the show after the elimination of five of the 12 that were originally on the Mole team just three weeks ago. I picked two to cover both bases, a man and a women. The way the women are dropping like flies, if the Mole is any good, the Mole has to be one of the two women left. And I think I know which one. It’s all in the wrist motion.
Well, that wasn’t so bad for me. Happy end of June, 2008. It’s been good for me. Hope it’s been good for you, too.
- Bob