Hey, this is the other Brian (Brian B, Sexy Brian, Funny Brian, etc.) with my first bit of writing for RTW, inspired by Jack Black and Todd Louiso in High Fidelity. My thought is that this will hopefully become a regular column. To accompany the insane weather lately I thought I would start with a list of my top five songs about global warming, because obviously that’s why it’s so hot. Or possibly the heat wave is due to a high pressure system, in any case here are the results from my extensive (I have lots of downtime at work) research:
5. Martha Reeves and the
Vandelles- Heatwave
Just incase you’ve been hiding
inside for the past month seeing if you could bring down our aging infrastructure
with you’re a.c., pick number 5 is here to get you in the mood. Oh yeah,
“It’s like a heatwave!” I guess it must be noted that this song has absolutely
nothing to do with the weather. It’s about getting all hot and bothered
by that special someone. So… Ummm…. HEATWAVE!…
4. R.E.M- It's the End
of the World as We Know it
This song is about the end
of the world. Global warming is threatening to end the world, unless, of
course, my Jakey has something to say about it. While you all are dying
from drastic global climate change Jake Gyllenhaal will be fighting his
way past escaped killer wolves and rescuing me, while his dad walks from
D.C to New York, in snow shoes, in a couple days. Yep, trust me, it’s gonna
happen. Ahhhh, Me and Jake… So! Back to the song. They say a lot of stuff,
it’s about the end of the world, chances are they mention something, right?
Right. Don’t question, just accept.
3. Bad Religion- Kyoto
now!
There’s an exclamation mark
in the title, how fun! Obviously this has to be on the list. Besides it
has tough lyrics about holes in the ozone layer like “A brutal sun is rising
on our sick horizon.” Bad Religion: proving you can sound tough even when
harboring hippie tendencies. As for the rest of the lyrics in the song,
they’re pretty obscure. Luckily we have that excited title to make sure
we know what’s up.
2. Postal Service- Sleeping
In
As well as having lyrics that
I can easily relate to (Don’t wake me, I plan on sleeping in) this song
has a verse about global warming, a pretty enjoyable one at that. Maybe
Ben Gibbard is right and you silly liberals have it all messed up. God
is rewarding people for being so nice! Yay us!
1. Pedro the Lion- Indian
Summer
David Bazan talks about raising
kids to like the taste of corporate cum. Anytime you can mix kids and cum
count me in! Though it may have been number 1 based on this alone, it also
has great lines reminding us that it’s really our parents doing this to
us and that our government probably wants it so they can make some money.
As soon as you finish this be sure to call home and write your representatives
and say thanks. God bless the Indian summer.
P.S.- I’m not actually a gay pedophile (publicly…)
- Brian B.