It's here again; that wonderful time of year when everyone you know and their pets are infested with the Christmas spirit.  It comes from deep inside each of us every year right after Thanksgiving.  I think it's that time after we have just stuffed ourselves with turkey and dressing and all those other wonderful foods at dinner time, then we go and sit on the couch, lay back, (possibly unsnap our pants to give us some breathing room), turn on a football game and wait until we are ready for some pumpkin pie when that Christmas spirit reveals itself, buried under a whole year's worth of long days at work, short weekends away from work, and all of our other day to day troubles.  That's the time when every person around the world that celebrates Christmas digs up that feeling, like a time capsule and lets the Christmas spirit take them over.  Then, it spreads, like an airborne pathogen, through each and every city around the world and forces them to put up wreaths, ribbons, decorations, lights and trees, huge giant trees garnished with every kind of ornament possible.  It infuses itself into our very cities and overruns them worse than any natural disaster or crime wave ever could.  It's the time of year when you are supposed to be happy and joyous and give unto others that you love and care about, or for those who can't do for themselves or someone else.  We are supposed to be better people during Christmas.  But, here I find myself doing for the same people every year, and most of the time it blows up in my face.  Take this year for example.

        My parents were married on Christmas Eve thirty nine years ago, so we always celebrate a few days before Christmas and they never want any presents for their anniversary, just us kids to be with them on the holidays.  So we all (me, my younger brother and our two sisters) always try to make it a point to get together for that time of year.  Well, I took it upon myself to get for them a most grandiose gift this year, on their fortieth anniversary: It's a gold plated frame that contains a pictures of them throughout the forty years of their lives together, with forty empty spaces in all, with one left blank for a picture of them at their anniversary this year.  It is huge and was incredibly expensive.  My brother, Tom, is downright pitiful and is a world class moocher who never seems to have any money when something like this comes up, so I didn't bother asking him to help pitch in (even though I usually put his name on the gift anyways.)  And my two sisters, Jill and Holly, never like what I pick out so, they usually get their own gift (which they immediately point out to my parents that Tom and I had nothing to do with it's purchase.)  Well, a few days before Christmas, the stage is set and the anniversary party is going down at my parents house.  I have the huge frame brought in on special delivery, right to the front door of the party.  The only problem is, my father and mother are arguing!  My dad is in the living room and Mom is upstairs, locked in the bathroom.  I ask my father what went wrong.

        "Dad, what's going on?  There's going to be a lot of people here very soon."
        "I'm sorry, son.  We're having problems."
        "Well, like what?"
        "Honestly, I just confessed to your mother that I've been cheating on her."
        "What!?  With who?"
        "Well, right now, it's Margaret."
        "Who's Margaret?"
        "The butcher lady, down on the corner market.  I couldn't help it!  She's so friendly!"
        "What did you mean right now?"
        "Well, she isn't the first, son."
        "How many others?"
        "Let me see: there was Tina, the Dairy Queen girl, then Sophia, your mother's old bridge partner, and how could I forget Sharon, my old boss down at the plant."

        "How long has this been going on?"
        "Probably around 30 years."
        "Holy Shit!"
Then the door bell rang and I knew exactly who it was.  A man in a brown outfit carrying my $500 frame for my parents complete lie of a relationship.

        "Don't cuss around the baby Jesus!" he said, pointing to the manger scene Mom had arranged in the front room as she did every year.

        "Have you went to the Nativity scene yet this year?" he asked, as he does every year.  Dad heads the committee that oversees the city's nativity scene.

        "No, Dad.  I haven't."  Doorbell rings and I go throw up in the sink.

        Then, there's my brother.  He's as inconsiderate as anyone could get.  Every year I try and think of a really neat gift that he would like and appreciate and every year what does he get me: either socks or nothing.  But, I forgive because that's the spirit of the season.  Well, this year, I went all out and tried to show him that Christmas is the time for giving and also I told him this was the last year I was buying him a present until he got a job( believe me, I'm not that mean: he's 28 and still lives at home and doesn’t work.  Any takers, ladies? )  I got him a 2 plane tickets to Miami, Florida and tickets to the hard to get Christmas day NBA game where his favorite team, the Lakers play the Heat.  He would love it!, I thought.  And I was right.  I pulled him aside during the incredibly horribly gone awry parents anniversary party, just as I was about to leave.

        "Look, Tom.  I got you something very special for Christmas this year.  Open it up."  I passed the envelope containing all the important documents inside.  He looked greedily and ripped into it, just as a small child would do.  When he got them out into plain sight, he gasped and then seemed as if the moment passed him by.

        "Dude, this is awesome, man.  But, I can't go."
        "What?  Why not?"
        "I got a job."
        "You got a what?  Now, you just got a job, now?  Are you serious?"
        "Yeah.  I have to work all weekend.  You should take the tickets."
        "Tom, I can't.  I have plans with Tiffany for Christmas.  I can't ditch her and go to Miami for a basketball game?  Are you serious? She would break up with me in a heartbeat."

        "Well, turn them back in for the money."
        "Are you completely stupid?  All of this is nonrefundable.  Are you kidding me? This all cost over $1500 dollars!"

        "Sorry, dude.  I have to work."
        "Well, where are you working?"
        "The Split Leg.  It's a strip club right outside of town.  I'm the bouncer."
        "That's perfect."
        "Hey, it was your advice that motivated me.  And Busted Cherry.  She's one of the dancers."
        "Yeah, I didn't think she was an old friend from high school."
        "Actually, she is.  She used to be so quiet."
        "Yeah, I bet she did."
        "Hey, I'm going over to the Nativity scene with Dad later.  Want to come?"
        "No.  I'm going home to sell every possession I own to get this money back."

        So, I was already $2000 in the hole for Christmas.  But, I still had Tiffany.  Not counting the dozen gifts I already bought her, I got us a room at the Hilton for Christmas Eve night with a hot tub, all the food we want, and our very own tree inside the room.  It was going to be perfect.  I stopped by her place the next night to pick her up.  She answered the door and looked incredible.  Her long blonde hair flowed down past her shoulders and her body was incredible.  I couldn't wait to get her into that room, besides the fact it cost over $400.

        "Hey, are you ready to go?  Where's your suitcase?"
        "Yeah, about that, I don't think I want to spend Christmas Eve in a hotel."
        "Why not?  We both agreed it would be something different, something nice."
        "Well, let me rephrase that:  I don't think I want to spend Christmas Eve in a hotel with you."
        "What?  What is that supposed to mean?"
        "Well, am I correct in assuming that this night will be all about sex, right?"
        "Yeah, that's the idea."
        "It's just that… you're not that good."
        "(no words; just mouth agape.)"
        "Sorry.  I've been meaning to tell you for a while.  It's just not working out."
        "Hey, come back to bed, hot momma!" (coming from inside her house.)
        "Who's that?" I asked.
        "Oh, Fernando.  We've been seeing each other for a little while now."
        "Hold on.  We just broke up this minute.  Why have you been seeing him?"
        "Well, technically, we just broke up.  But, we've been broken up for three weeks.  I just forgot to tell you."
        "Well, couldn't you have told me before I went out and spent all this money on a hotel and your gifts?"
        "Yeah, what room is that though?"
        "Forget it.  I'm out of here."

        Well, after finding out your parents marriage was a farce, your brother, well, is just a complete loser and your girlfriend has been cheating on you, what else would you do?  Yeah, I went to the store and got a 40 oz beer.  I started chugging on it pretty heavily and by the time I nearly finished it, I had wandered downtown.  I could see the lit tree from in the distance, so I stumbled down towards it.  I finally reached the destination that had been calling out to me the whole holiday: the Nativity set.  There it was, in all of it's plastic glory.  The little straw cradle for baby Jesus and the 3 wisemen bringing gifts for the new King.  Then, all the farm animals looking over the scene.  I was so drunk I could have sworn the baby Jesus was actually alive.  He was moving in his cradle.  Then, he started crying.  Then, from underneath her warm blue cloth, Mary actually got up and attended to him.  It was amazing.  Then, Mary screamed at me and I realized I wasn't hallucinating.  Mary and baby Jesus were real.

        "Go away please.  Leave us alone."
        "You can't be here."
        "Just give me a few minutes before you call the cops.  I can't get put in jail.  I'll lose him for sure."
        "Are you… homeless?"
        "Yes.  But, I wouldn't abandon my baby, or give him up.  I couldn't.  I love him with all my heart."
        "So, you decided to hide under the blankets in the nativity scene.  That's kind of in the open."
        "I know, but they're free blankets.  And their warm.  Please just give me a few minutes."
 
        As she was gathering her things, I staggered to and fro and thought about my horrible week and realized it was still Christmas.  And even though the spirit of the holiday is swirling about in the air doesn't mean everyone feels it.  I had just put up with three people who didn't and they were all my family.  But, I hadn't forgotten about it.  Christmas was a time for giving and sharing with those less fortunate than me and this girl and her baby definitely fit that description.  So, I had wasted almost two thousand dollars, oh my god, I wasted two thousand dollars!  I dropped to my knees and nearly started crying.  My whole bank account nearly wiped out on Christmas gifts that no one wanted.  No, I stood back up and got a hold of myself.

        "Listen.  I have a room at the Hilton…"
        "Forget it.  What do I look like to you?"
        "No, no, I don't mean that.  I got it for me and my girl…well, long story short, I don't need it now.  But, you can have it.  It's only for tonight though.  You can let your baby sleep somewhere warm for the night.  Please take the room."

        She was hesitating. I'm sure if I was in her shoes, I looked down to make sure she had shoes, okay, if I were in her shoes, I would hesitate too.  But, it was an offer she couldn't refuse.

        "Why are you doing this?"
        "Because someone should have a good Christmas.  Here."
        I handed her the key and watched as she went off towards her lit tree and hot tub at one of the finest hotels in the world.  And I stayed there and looked at the nativity scene my dad had helped put up.  The truth is it didn't look any worse or better than it had any other year.  He had simply brought the same set up out of storage and arranged it exactly the way it was every year.  But, it was the effort that counted.  I then realized I had to get myself out of the gutter.  I took those tickets to Miami and went to the Lakers game and got so wasted, I was kicked out onto the streets of Miami.  But, it was Christmas and the spirit had overtaken me.  I wished every bum, drug dealer, pimp, or prostitute I saw on the street that night a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.  Then, after I sobered up, I thanked God I was still alive and flew back home.

- Jessie