Cookie Dough Oreo Cookies

In the hallowed halls of the robust RtW archives you’ll catch nary a glance at Oreo in our 20+ year history of dishing the deets on random junk food, toys, and misc. pop culture detritus. Chips Ahoy! has fared slightly better. But Oreo has only been featured twice. Both times were somewhat dubious. We did a video review on Candy Cane Oreo Cookies, a video that always stood out to me for being one of our lowest watched, just barely hitting 100 views, and most of those were my mailman and a sweet old lady named Daphne in Des Moines who considers herself an Oreo super fan. Despite that video being published in December to capitalize on the holiday season, it was filmed in July, and the balmy 80-degree weather doesn’t necessarily translate to snowmen and scarves. The other time Oreo appeared on Review the World was a video review on an Oreo Brownie. This video is notable for having the worst audio of any we’ve ever posted in the public sphere. It was wildly windy, and perhaps we stretched 4-5 minutes out of an item that didn’t deserve half that breadth; but do stick around for the second half of that video to see us traversing the grounds of Miami University’s Hamilton campus sipping Soda Shaq.
 

I’ve stated it before but I’m not a big Oreo cookie, or really a purveyor of cookies or sweets in general. If given my druthers, the Mint Oreo would be my preferred varietal, and I wouldn’t be opposed to some smashed up Oreo cookies mixed into my ice cream. And while I admire the chutzpah to release oddities like Swedish Fish and Peeps Oreo cookies, most of the gimmick flavors don’t entice me beyond mild curiosity, however, 2014’s Root Beer Float Oreo cookies would have been dope I imagine. Just like Snoopy likes sipping a frosty mug of root beer, I partook frequently in my youth, so that’d have been a personal favorite, I’m sure.
 

This is all a prelude to today’s review of Cookie Dough Oreo cookies. A bit of a cannibalistic amalgamation, no? That’d be like having a hamburger flavored burger. “Hey Sal, gimmie a slice of pepp, and uh, let me get one of those pizza-flavored slices, too!” said nobody ever. Oreo has been producing cookies en masse since 1912, but here they’ve outdone themselves. Now my son Owen, he’s got the sweet tooth in our palatial suite, always digging in the pantry for cookies. And he’s partial to the Golden Oreo cookies. This indecent dish gives us the Golden cookies, sub out the white crème, and replaces it with cookie dough batter crème with no shame. So, what’s the verdict?

I’m on a bit of a diet as of this writing (who in my age group in the blogging and YouTube realm ain’t?) so approached my sole cookie with solemnity. And I don’t know if it’s because I’d barely eaten anything that entire day, but I munched down on that cookie with reckless abandon. And my initial takeaway was that these were deceptively good. I’d already heard high praise from my aforementioned son, and also my girlfriend, but I still had my reservations. The Golden sandwich cookie is ideal, kind of like those McDonald’s character cookies they’d pass out long, long ago, and I found the cookie dough crème was light and inviting, the taste rivaled that of like a quality doughnut filling or something more high-end like that, not the frankly bland sugary blast of a standard Oreo. While Oreo may never be part of my regular snacking rotation, I’ll trip my proverbial barbecue sauce-stained hat like Jim Ross and give them their flowers and kudos for this offering.
 
Overall Grade: B+

Guacamole! Doritos

After a departure of 21 years Guacamole! Doritos have risen. Returning not unlike in G.I. Joe: The Movie when Cobra Commander is transformed into a literal snake and is carried by Roadblock to the Joes’ camp. No, that’s not quite the right metaphor. Let’s try another. Like when pro wrestler Sting finally made his way to the WWE after a decades-spanning, legendary career, only to have it prematurely ended just as it began by the recklessness of toolbag Seth Rollins. That doesn’t set the proper tone either. Let’s just roll with it … “They’re back!” (spoken in my best Carl Anne voice from Poltergeist II: The Other Side).
 
This isn’t just another chip review. I’ve done many, many of those in the past. Both in written and video form. This one actually has a bit of a story – a history with the Big Bad Bionic Boy Bri and RtW! In 2010 I posted an article containing a video (in three parts) that was actually shot in January of 2004. It was something a couple friends and I shot late night, and while it was dubbed Review the World, I’m not sure I even knew then what the project was or would become. I love to look back at it now as it’s a time machine. It’s a glimpse into my childhood home and the kitchen that wasn’t just for family meals. Over the years that kitchen doubled as a basketball court (I had this great basketball hoop that I hung up on the door to the backyard), a place for my Hot Wheels and Micro Machines to drive around, I’d play two-square against the kitchen cabinets with a bouncy ball, hold wild imaginative wrestling matches using my action figures on the kitchen table, etc.
 
On that video from ’04 regular RtW co-contributor and longtime friend Nick and I looked at everything from candies to a board game, knockoff sodas, weird promotional movie tie-in foods, and action figures. One of the things reviewed was … Guacamole! Doritos.
 

Or was it really reviewed? Going back and watching the footage my “review” on the chips was nonconclusive. Maybe it was because Nick and I had already eaten a gummy pizza, tainted our tongue with “spray paint” candy, and imbibed Mountain Holler a Dew knockoff. Because my tastebuds seemed to be failing me. Nick is a notoriously picky eater, so he didn’t join me. I try a chip or two and make reference to only having had guacamole “20 or so times” in my life. That seems so quaint today but looking back it likely wasn’t far off. Growing up the only exposure I’d had to Mexican cuisine was Taco Bell. I wouldn’t say my father was a picky eater, more a stubborn one, and as such as a family we stuck to a few dozen different homecooked meals, a handful of restaurants, and didn’t leave room for much experimentation beyond that. I remember tagging along in high school with a couple friends on a very impromptu trip to New Jersey for one of them to meet their online girlfriend. The girls took us into the city, and we stopped at a Chinese restaurant for lunch. I didn’t know what to order! The only Asian food I’d had was as a kid my dad when getting home from work a couple times brought me some leftover shrimp fried rice in one of those little Chinese takeout containers. My parents made “stir fry” a few times. So, the idea of guacamole being exotic to a teenager seems silly to me now but that was very much the reality of the era and area I grew up in. Back to the video we shot in '04, I mention before we cut from the Doritos review to the next segment that I’d be back with more thoughts, but that never happened. Until today. 21 years later.

So how are these things? You’ve got to immediately point out the brilliant green coloring going on here. These should have been Kryptonite chips as a tie-in to this summer’s blockbuster movie Superman. You know I’m right. So big kudos on going green. And I want to go full circle on my personal relationship with guacamole. I painted a picture of how back in 2004 I was a novice at best. But now I’d consider myself a connoisseur of the green stuff. And frankly the reason I don’t think I love the taste of these chips is they remind me of the generic idea of guac as we knew it in the ‘90’s. If you buy some store brand guacamole now, you’ll run into a similar flavor profile. The avocado is hidden beneath “spices” and a preponderance of tomato, onion, etc. Guacamole is best when it’s kept simple. You don’t need the gimmickry. I found long ago if I cut into a fresh avocado, dumped it into a bowl, sprinkled some coarse salt on it, squeezed a packet of Taco Bell hot sauce in there, maybe a splash of lime if I had one handy, I could myself whip up a damn fine guacamole in a matter of moments. I think the restaurant Chipotle actually has one of my favorite takes on guacamole. Theirs the main thing you taste is fresh avocado, with big chunks of it throughout, and some cilantro mixed in. Simple and effective.

My favorite memory of guacamole ties back to the “Happiest Place on Earth” at Walt Disney World. At Magic Kingdom, arguably the most magical of all Disney parks worldwide, in the Frontierland area, themed like the American frontier of the 19th century, is Pecos Bill Tall Tale Inn & Café. Serving Mexican-inspired fare it’s a great spot for pioneers and cowboys to take a breather, grab some grub, and soak in the atmosphere and ambience. It’s a very cool dining area feeling like you’re inside an inn in the Wild West. I bring it up to talk about their amazing an experience I had with their nachos and the incredible Fixins Bar. You carry your tray with your plate of nachos on it to the Fixins Bar and go nuts: toss some lettuce, tomato, chopped onion, jalapenos, etc. on there but then I recall being shocked to see … guacamole! Shocked because guac is a high-priced item generally and having unlimited access to it seemed like stealing somehow. So I tossed a few scoops onto my gigantic mound of nachos and went to town. One of the more satisfying meals I had on that particular trip to WDW and one I reflect back on fondly often.
 

To wind things down while these aren’t bad and I wish I could reclaim them after all this time as a lost gem – I really don’t think they’re that great as chips. The flavor doesn’t align with what I’m looking for out of guacamole. I’m glad they made a triumphant return. I urge everybody to try them for themselves. I would love for the Wasabi Doritos (which I only ever saw at Walmart) to make a return. Now those things rocked! When I was in college, I remember getting bags of Guacahip out of a vending machine before class. Those are still available and for my money a superior guacamole chip in every category. So, check those out if you’ve never had them before. Now get me my Lex Luthor chips!

Grade: C+

National Museum of the U.S. Air Force - An Illustrated Travelogue

The National Air Force Museum is so large-scale, awe-inspiring and breathtaking it’s hard to sum up in a short sentence or even summary. Four absolutely humongous aircraft hangers make up one of what has to be one of the largest museums of any kind in the country. It’s one of the only museums I’ve ever been to where even one full day literally is not enough to simply take it all in. You will undeniably get fatigued by its immense scope and size – both physically and mentally. And this is a good thing. And the fact its free makes it even more of a national treasure. Me? I’m lucky. It’s less than 45 min. north up the freeway in Dayton, OH. But I highly recommend visiting it no matter where you’re from, and if you’re fortunate enough to be within an 1-2 hr. drive, I’d say go check it out soon!

 
You’re whisked from the Wright Bros. through World War II and other major battles, to space exploration, presidential aircrafts (which you can actually board!), and so much more. I thought it’d be fun to do a travelogue piece on it. Something integral to Review the World, that may get a little lost in the whirl of junk food, dollar store fare, freestyle walking videos, etc. is I’ve always wanted to champion being out and about in the world. That’s why we shoot a lot of our food reviews in neighborhoods, alleyways, parks, downtowns, etc. instead of inside a house. I mean Go! Road Trip a beloved travel series we did was all about exploring new to you places within 30-45 min. of our own front door! But I got a little creative with the concept for this article. The museum has so much to see, still images from my old iPhone 8+ didn’t seem like it’d really bring you, the viewer, into the world of the museum. And its funny how pictures you take rarely capture the moment or the place as you see it in your memory. So, with the help of modern technology, I’ve made this trip to the National Air Force Museum an illustrated journey. I think this will entice you, the audience, even more than standard pictures, to marvel at this truly magnificent place and consider making the trek and visiting yourselves. I aim to keep the text interruptions few and brief. Now swing by the vending machine, grab yourself a snack and bottled water, and let’s get going because this place is truly gigantic!
 

I didn’t take any pictures in the Early Years section. I’d like to say it’s because I wanted you to discover the origins of flight firsthand – but truth is the idea for this article didn’t take shape until a little later in my trip there! Sharing a link to a map of this marvelous museum for your own perusal and so you can follow along if you’d like.

The Memphis Belle a Boeing B-17F Flying Fortress used during WWII and one of the most famous combat aircrafts of all time. I’m going to track down the 1990 feature film about it now.
 

Stunning stained glass and my girlfriend Tiffany’s first cameo.

There are many vignettes like this one featuring mannequins and props etc. which as a museum nerd in general I always love.
 

I apologize I didn’t get a full plane picture as there was (and usually is) a crowd – but what you’re seeing is the “plane that ended WWII” Boeing B-29 Superfortress Bockscar and next to it a recreation of the “Fat Man” nuclear bomb that detonated over Nagasaki. The fact that this historical artifact of unfathomable importance is here and free to see is one of dozens, if not hundreds, of reasons this museum is so amazing.

You can board multiple aircrafts throughout the museum. It’s so cool to step aboard an aircraft and envision back when it caried brave soldiers and what they must have been thinking and feeling, etc.

P.O.W. section

There are two thoughts that always kick around in my head when I visit (this was my fifth visit total – unfortunately I didn’t find out about this place until a decade or so ago but I’m sure if I’d had visited as a kid I’d have even more of an attachment to it). The first is I just marvel at the ingenuity and engineering feat of all of these aircrafts. On a micro level, every bolt, screw, sheet of metal, rubber, glass, wood, all the levels in the cockpits, the massive engines (so many are on display), etc. like it’s incredible that humans have been capable of creating these aircrafts and bringing them to life from blueprints to soaring high in the skies. 

The other thought I return to is how emotionally stirring it must be for people who have a family connection to any of the planes on display. Like if your grandfather or great grandfather flew missions in one of these aircrafts – I can’t imagine how powerful it would be to come see it firsthand and see it with your own eyes.

Some of the images you’re seeing currently are from the 2nd hanger where the Southeast Asia (Vietnam) War and Korean War sections are. Unfortunately, no pop culture wing where He-Man and the Masters of the Universe flying vehicles like the Wind Raider or Talon Fighter are on display. A lost opportunity.

RtW always one to note both the momentous and the mundane – had to capture one (of I lost count at 10) restrooms at the museum.

 
The Missile Gallery! This room is spectacular, and you crane your neck when you first enter as the ceiling as it must be 100 ft. tall.

Some miscellaneous shots I liked.

Cockpit -- how cool is that? Feel like I'm playing After Burner.
 

The Space section is dope. We were running out of time rapidly (the museum closes at 5PM) so didn’t board the gigantic space shuttle but you can see the entrance ramp to it on the right side of this picture.

Some more awesomeness in the Space section. Houston ... we don't have a problem.

Had to take a selfie to remember this day and who I was when I experienced it.

Presidential planes! You can actually walk through four of them including aircraft used by Presidents Roosevelt, Truman, Eisenhower as well as the Boeing VC-137C also known as SAM (Special Air Mission) 26000, which was used by eight presidents -- Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, George H.W. Bush and Clinton.

This is aboard JFK’s plane and the one I must insist you check out if no other. There is a section of the plane (not pictured) where LBJ was sworn into office as Jackie prepared to fly back home with the coffin containing her late husband. I’ve seen that moment in history dramatized in a movie before so to stand in the actual spot where it happened is powerful.

Tiffany is feeling the fatigue as we head out of one presidential aircraft to another.

Eisenhower’s plane – I love this one. It feels of its era, very 1950’s, even the tweed-like curtains remind me of ones you’d find hanging in your grandparents’ kitchen.

Almost a mid-century modern feel to the Eisenhower's main restroom.

I saw a new walled off area and the door was unlocked so I entered and discovered a conference room where trainings and presentations seem to be held.

I could have taken a lot more pictures in the gift shop. I love museum gift shops. And theirs is pretty sweet. The museum was closing so I turned back and rushed back to the alien's section to snap a quick final shot.

What an awesome day. What an awesome place. Soar your way to it as soon as you’re able 🛫

Totino's Orange Chicken Rolls

Review the World and Totino’s Pizza Rolls go way back (to 2005 in fact). In fact, they have their very own category on the blog – featuring over a half-dozen reviews including many limited time only flavors of yore that are long gone. Among the pizza roll scene I am in the cognoscenti -- a true authority on these baddies. So you know when I discovered these in the wild I absolutely not just had to try them, but to share my scientific studies with you rowdy bunch.

I was at Hooper’s Store on Sesame Street and saw these in the freezer. Instant buy. Now I don’t know FaZe Clan from Innercity Griots but their logo is emblazoned on the bag. Back when I reviewed the “Pizzeria Rolls” a Totino’s twist on popular Italian foods in roll form, I suggested some ingenious ideas of my own including Philly cheesesteak and Indian food rolls. I didn’t have the foresight to predict takes on Chinese takeout faves like Orange Chicken but my interest was piqued. Arguably, if brainstorming on Chinese food rolls, you’d be hard-pressed to offer up a better suggestion than Orange Chicken. Runners-up in a poll I concocted by myself with the lone voter being me were Beef & Broccoli, Sesame Chicken, Teriyaki Chicken, Garlic Shrimp, and Sweet and Sour Pork.

Just like the old days I tossed in a figurine this time Jason Voorhees as we’re days out from Halloween and my girlfriend and I have been binging horror films for weeks. Right away you get notes of spice and sweetness. That synergy is needed as real orange chicken has that cross between orange marmalade and spicy red chili flakes happening. The orange itself isn’t traceable but you do get sweetness to meet the heat. I may be a savage (I’ve been told it’s a Midwestern thing) but ranch dressing is my dip of choice on all pizza roll varieties. It worked especially well in this case as the creaminess helped counterbalance the spice singe.

Overall these are an unexpected treat, fun to snack on, cool concept, and really, really makes me wish Totino’s would keep the creativity coming. I’d love nothing more than at least 1-2 new flavors yearly but a guy can dream. Thanks for coming to me Ted Totino’s Talk.

Overall Grade: B+

Enchilada Soda

 

 It’s a special one! RtW original Eddie is back with Brian & we’re sipping on enchiladas! "¡Ay, caramba!" Mexican food in soda form? We’ve done bacon, buffalo wing, and peanut butter & jelly sodas – but this is arguably the most bizarre yet! Don’t fill up on the chips & salsa .. we’re donning sombreros & skipping straight to the entrée tonight!

Lay’s India’s Magic Masala chips

 

A chip review that serendipitously doubles as a farewell to Brian’s childhood home. The aroma & flavors of an Indian buffet transmuted to chip form as Lay’s melds masala & magic into one snack that’d make magician The Great Sorcar envious! Will the spice be nice? Watch as the guys investigate this indomitable Indian edible

Jones Sugar Cookie Soda

A beautifully blue-hued soda pop flavored after those frosting-topped cookies found at all office parties and family reunions is the latest drinkable diversion by the fine folks at Jones! Watch and marvel as the guys get their sugar cookie sip on