Saturday, October 28, 2023

Totino's Orange Chicken Rolls

Review the World and Totino’s Pizza Rolls go way back (to 2005 in fact). In fact, they have their very own category on the blog – featuring over a half-dozen reviews including many limited time only flavors of yore that are long gone. Among the pizza roll scene I am in the cognoscenti -- a true authority on these baddies. So you know when I discovered these in the wild I absolutely not just had to try them, but to share my scientific studies with you rowdy bunch.

I was at Hooper’s Store on Sesame Street and saw these in the freezer. Instant buy. Now I don’t know FaZe Clan from Innercity Griots but their logo is emblazoned on the bag. Back when I reviewed the “Pizzeria Rolls” a Totino’s twist on popular Italian foods in roll form, I suggested some ingenious ideas of my own including Philly cheesesteak and Indian food rolls. I didn’t have the foresight to predict takes on Chinese takeout faves like Orange Chicken but my interest was piqued. Arguably, if brainstorming on Chinese food rolls, you’d be hard-pressed to offer up a better suggestion than Orange Chicken. Runners-up in a poll I concocted by myself with the lone voter being me were Beef & Broccoli, Sesame Chicken, Teriyaki Chicken, Garlic Shrimp, and Sweet and Sour Pork.

Just like the old days I tossed in a figurine this time Jason Voorhees as we’re days out from Halloween and my girlfriend and I have been binging horror films for weeks. Right away you get notes of spice and sweetness. That synergy is needed as real orange chicken has that cross between orange marmalade and spicy red chili flakes happening. The orange itself isn’t traceable but you do get sweetness to meet the heat. I may be a savage (I’ve been told it’s a Midwestern thing) but ranch dressing is my dip of choice on all pizza roll varieties. It worked especially well in this case as the creaminess helped counterbalance the spice singe.

Overall these are an unexpected treat, fun to snack on, cool concept, and really, really makes me wish Totino’s would keep the creativity coming. I’d love nothing more than at least 1-2 new flavors yearly but a guy can dream. Thanks for coming to me Ted Totino’s Talk.

Overall Grade: B+

Wednesday, June 28, 2023

Enchilada Soda


 It’s a special one! RtW original Eddie is back with Brian & we’re sipping on enchiladas! "¡Ay, caramba!" Mexican food in soda form? We’ve done bacon, buffalo wing, and peanut butter & jelly sodas – but this is arguably the most bizarre yet! Don’t fill up on the chips & salsa .. we’re donning sombreros & skipping straight to the entrĂ©e tonight!

Sunday, April 23, 2023

Lay’s India’s Magic Masala chips


A chip review that serendipitously doubles as a farewell to Brian’s childhood home. The aroma & flavors of an Indian buffet transmuted to chip form as Lay’s melds masala & magic into one snack that’d make magician The Great Sorcar envious! Will the spice be nice? Watch as the guys investigate this indomitable Indian edible

Monday, March 27, 2023

Jones Sugar Cookie Soda

A beautifully blue-hued soda pop flavored after those frosting-topped cookies found at all office parties and family reunions is the latest drinkable diversion by the fine folks at Jones! Watch and marvel as the guys get their sugar cookie sip on

Wednesday, March 1, 2023

Sour Patch Kids Popcorn


Them wily Sour Patch Kids are back again! We’ve had the candy, cereal and cookies, but now they’re invading the multiplex with popcorn! Sweet then sour is their motto but what about .. salty? Watch as the guys dissect this gummy-infused snack with enthusiasm!

Sunday, February 5, 2023

Lay’s BBQ Prik Zab Zeed chips

Thailand brings us a barbecued pork skewer flavored chip from Lay’s! With the unique name Prik Zab Zeed (no relation to Lord Zedd) we’re hoping for a tasty treat as we hit the streets for our latest review!

Friday, February 4, 2022

An Alternate Kit Kat Countdown Finale?


To celebrate the one year anniversary of the conclusion of our epic twelve month Kit Kat Countdown here’s an alternate version of the finale video! All-new never before seen footage of an alternate take of that final review. This version accidently ended abruptly before we could give our concluding thoughts and farewells. We ended up shooting it a second time which is the version we ended up using (and that one has an added bonus gimmick of a “candid” car ride post-review). Enjoy this unearthed throwback – one for the RtW super fans!