Friday, December 21, 2012

10 Days of Cheap Christmas: Day #9


Last for me but certainly not least!  In fact this was the first item I bought for this project.  Like many of the other items purchased these Push Pop Toppers came in a few varieties but the instant I saw Mrs. Claus I fell in love.  There’s snowmen and Santa galore in all shapes, sizes, etc. but it’s extraordinarily rare to find Mrs. Claus especially in any sort of toy-like form.  My love for this tiny treasure transcends the holiday.


The candy itself you may be asking?  Not bad.  It’s Cherry Vanilla and thankfully they didn’t skimp on the creamy vanilla flavor and while it tasted rather good I doubt I’ll finish it as a 30-year-old man rarely has a time or place where eating a Push Pop seems appropriate.


And there she is among a batch of freshly baked cookies.  In the opening I didn’t want to pour into detail but now allow me in the words of Konnan to “speak on this”.  I love everything about her.  The gray old lady hair parted down the middle.  The little eye glasses resting on her tiny button nose.  But most of all?  I love the adorable little pan of freshly baked cookies. Each heartbreakingly cute cookie is the size of a, well, I can’t think up a fitting comparison but know you’d want to eat them all if you were here.  If a tornado hit my house tonight they’d find me the next day amid the wreckage clutching this figurine.


April O’Neil: Mrs. Claus how does it feel to be handpicked to be Brian’s last entry into this celebratory countdown?

Mrs. Claus: It’s an honor and to show my gratitude I’ve made him a fresh batch of my beloved cookies.


Isn’t she just the best?  This holiday season has been superb for me full of joy.  Just look above at my own two little ones Yukari and Owen telling Santa their Christmas wishes including a drum set and a new season of Veronica Mars.


April O’Neil: Brian, any closing comments on the 10 Days of Cheap Christmas?



Brian: Sure, just watch the video above where I succinctly sum it up at one of my favorite places in the universe the Cincinnati Museum Center!

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

10 Days of Cheap Christmas: Day #7


Day seven, baby!  We're a week into this bad boy and today's going to be extra special because I'll be joined by a special guest reviewer!  First let's talk briefly about the product we'll be looking at.  For $1 at Dollar Tree I picked up a bag of fluffy fun in the guise of holiday themed marshmallows.  The store had an admirable aisle dedicated solely to Christmas which was a veritable smorgasbord of goodies.  I imagined it'd be tough narrowing down my selection but I instantly fell in love with these and couldn't release my grasp on the bag.


Here's my son Owen who bravely volunteered to try out the foodstuffs.  Below will play less like a typical review and more like play-by-play commentary as I broadcast the results of our little edible experiment.

  
The marshmallows come in three holiday shapes which I had a hell of a time trying to document.  I couldn't get a quality shot using the limited light available with the candy cane being especially challenging.  On the far left is a Christmas Tree!  Surely I could have found one in better condition in the bag but that'd require a little more effort than clearly I was willing to give.  Onward.  A Snowman!  He's a pillowy pile of jolly joy ready to melt in your mouth.  Lastly, that blasted Candy Cane which is clearly camera shy.


Owen expressing interest in this bag of bizarre things.  He's never ate marshmallows before.


There's the hand-off -- this is about to go down.


He's taking a bite!  So far, so good.  But what will his reaction be?


He likes it!  Owen likes it!  Isn't that the most adorable thing you've ever  seen?  Well, since Tanana healed Kenai in Brother Bear that is.

(Missing picture of my mallows in a cup of clumpy hot chocolate I mistakenly prematurely deleted.)

Being an "adult" I didn't want to just chomp into raw marshmallows.  So I opted to make some hot chocolate to toss 'em in.  First, though, an admission.  Come on guys out there, don't let me down, aren't there random, little things that you could probably do/figure out that you sometimes just chalk up to your girlfriend/wife to be able to do saving you the thorny issue of learning some new skill or ability?  Or is it just me?  Case in point: I've never made hot chocolate.  For some reason I'd assumed it was difficult or time consuming and figured "I'll wait until Amanda gets home."  Then she told me I could just put some hot water and/or milk in it.  I played it off like I'd known that since the Reagan administration.

(Second missing picture, this one an amazing action shot of me dumping out the hot chocolate as it poured down in mid-air towards its demise in the sink.)

Only to prove my ineptitude further.  I poured the powder in first!  Big error.  You're supposed to heat the liquid first then add your powdery cocoa dust.  So now I've got this lumpy, muddy guck that I didn't dare attempt to microwave and make a bigger mess of.  I failed at hot chocolate.


After much finagling I was able to at least recover this tiny thumbnail versions so you know I’m not entirely crazy.  That pouring shot was a real beauty too.



For those needing more of Owen's expert analysis here's  a video I captured where Owen evidently finds holiday marshmallows hilarious.


My daughter Yukari was jealous Owen got such a major role in today's article and insisted she get a cameo.  Here she is modish in Christmas sleeper with a message:

Yukari: Don't forget tomorrow's update on the countdown will be up over on Will's blog VeggieMacabre!  Enjoy!

Monday, December 17, 2012

10 Days of Cheap Christmas: Day #5


It's day five and we're keeping this cheery holiday romp rolling into its second-half with another review for that ass!  I snagged today's item at Target.  There were a few different varieties but I choose the Christmas tree content to colorize my own faux gift packages.  The Target Dollar Spot can be hit or miss but if you're looking for a die cast car, hard plastic elephant, paper plates, or a Witch Parking Only novelty road sign then it's the place for you.


Here's a closer look at the particulars as the package breaks down the arithmetic.  Looks simple enough!


Here's everything before I get my art on.  This isn't a segregated water fountain in 1943 so make no mistake when I say "colors only" I'm talking about busting out the markers!  It looks a bit pedestrian but the quality of the materials themselves and then the finished product will determine if it was worth the measly buck.


And it begins!  Not surprisingly like riding a bike one doesn't forget coloring and I was having fun like I was in third grade doodling Magnokor at my desk all over again.


While I'm showing off cheap X-Mas stuff I've recently acquired here's a lame advent calendar with bite-sized chocolate I got for fifty cents at Jungle Jim's International Market the other night.


More action shots!  That's what the young whippersnappers want these days.  Here I am detailing a beautiful blue ornament and still having a blast.


The finished product!  Isn't it lovely?  And it's John, the father of the family from Walt Disney's Carousel of Progress, one of my favorite attractions at Disney World!

Brian: Do you like my tree?

John: I sure do, Brian!  Also, my son James is a real big fan of your site.  He says it's "totally boss" and "way cool, dude!".

Brian: Oh, that's great!  I'm honored.  I'd love to have him make a cameo in one of my videos sometime.

John: That tree would sure look good in our living room but we've already got one of our own as you know.  Well, it's time I get back home.  Sarah's making pot roast.  And remember, "There's a great big beautiful tomorrow shining at the end of every day"!


My 2012 Christmas Card.  Limited edition.

In closing I liked this way more than I'd originally anticipated.  The actual coloring and designing was fun, for example peep the blue and yellow package I did in the colors of my beloved Van Buren Elementary School (RIP).  The markers themselves were fine, especially the red which bled onto the wood as though that was its life mission and its time to shine had come, yellow sort of petered out though (you suck, yellow).  Now writing this a few days after my wood art looks even better as the colors are very crisp and pop.  Definitely a steal at a $1.


Just like Banksy I had to leave my mark behind so read it and weep and enjoy the rest of the countdown!  Save me eggnog.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

10 Days of Cheap Christmas: Day #3


The ball is back in my court now for Day 3 of the 10 Days of Cheap Christmas countdown.  You may recognize this item if you're a keen viewer and saw it during the video Will and I made for this project.  It's a miniature gingerbread house I scored at Dollar Tree for, you guessed it, $1.  I like the gift wrap motif and underneath that its wrapped again in a tight layer of plastic to keep it fresher than the cuts and fades Issac Rosenberg was dishing out in Barbershop 2: Back in Business.


This gives new meaning to the phrase "home invasion"!  The smell of gingerbread that emerged was surprisingly potent (like that herb your little cousin sells -- natch!).


Wait a second -- what is this!

Zartan: This is my holiday retreat home.  If you're going to stand there gawking, taking pictures, and making bad puns the least you can do is let me give you the tour.

Brian: Well, sure, I'd be honored!  Please.


Zartan: Here's the front of the place.  That wreath was handcrafted in Reykjavík.

Brian: Oh, cool, that's where Björk is from.

Zartan: Gesundheit.

Brian: Nice snowman, too.  My friend Deon the Distasteful would probably ask you if a handicapped kid made it for a quick buck but --

Zartan: That's enough.

Brian: Is that a sled parked at the front door?

Zartan: No it's the red fucking carpet and this is opening night to your one-man show "Webmaster that Zartan Snuffed".

Brian: Moving right along...


Zartan: Here's the left side of the place where I have my make-up, disguise, and holographic technology lab.  It's also got a real dandy of a candy cane decoration leaning up against it.

Brian: Good choice.  Really compliments the blue window frames and pulls it all together.


Zartan: Here's the right side it houses the guest rooms where my twin younger siblings Zandar and Zarana stay when they visit.

Brian: What about that gift over there?  Wow!  Is that something special for your daughter Zanya?

Zartan: No it's a new chainsaw blade and ponytail clip for Buzzer.  Any other questions Ernie Pyle?


Zartan: Here's the ass of the place.  I put out a little tree behind the house as well so the raccoons and rodents can share in the holiday spirit.

Brian: That was awfully thoughtful of you.  Now where's the pisser?


After escaping unscathed from Zartan when he went inside to fetch some chocolate-covered donuts and grape soda (it's a Dreadnoks thing) I tried to eat his house.  I couldn't do it.  Is this thing even edible?  Was it intended to be consumed or merely observed and appreciated ocularly?  I took a nibble then placed it in a prominent spot in my own kitchen so I can see it daily.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

10 Days of Cheap Christmas: Day #1


Let's get this countdown kicked off proper!  This is a wacky, well, words fail, but let's say miniature gumdrop (do a Google Images search for "gumdrop" you'll thank me later for introducing you to your new favorite adorable wallpaper) sucker on a really long stick.  I got this thing at Michaels as I was leaving noticing it near the checkouts and paid some obtuse irregular odd price like 43 cents for it.


I told you it's a long stick!  Perfect size for, I'm not sure, possibly attacking a fleeing relative who's running through the house or terrorizing the family pet.


Here's the money shot!  Now they had several different versions of these but this one warmed my heart fastest (same reason I choose chili).  Why?  Well, they didn't have my first choice Michael Ironside in a tacky Christmas sweater.  No seriously, do you really need to ask?  It's freaking Santa Claus holding a stand of Christmas lights!  That just doesn't happen.  A wreath?  I could buy it.  A present?  Why certainly!  But holding an item us everyday folk use in our celebration of the very holiday he represents?  That'd be like a picture of Michael Jordan in your childhood bedroom dunking on your doorway basketball hoop.

Also, why is his tongue sticking out?  Is he mocking us?  I never took Santa for the type to blow raspberries in jest.


Of course even at 2AM my cat Tomo had to see what was going on in the kitchen.  This reminds me of pretty much any article I posted in 2009 when my wife and I still lived in a small apartment, before children, when my cat was the coolest thing on the planet (she's now relegated to a bit player like Trevor Ochmonek on Alf).


I took the first bite without hesitation leaving Santa looking like JFK post-killshot.  Actually this image really sort of resembles that teenager who gets his head crushed by a car in that wonderful scene in The Toxic Avenger.


I made quick work of the candy (not that there was much to it) and all that remained was the strand of lights.  Which brings us full-circle.  Another reason I chose this particular sucker is I'm a sucker for Christmas lights.  One of my favorite childhood memories, and I'm not just talking holidays here, was loading up into the car with my parents and big brother on cold winter nights around this time of year and driving through neighborhoods looking at other families' Christmas lights and decorations.  So magical.  I especially recall the year that I knew in a few short days under the tree a Game Genie for the NES was awaiting me and I was fantasizing in the backseat about all of the games I'd now be able to conquer.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Campbell's Chunky Kickin' Buffalo-Style Chicken Soup


What is this you say?  Buffalo chicken... soup?  Get out of here!  Nope it's as real as Real Steel was unreal.  I've had a handful of the soups in this line and regrettably most taste the same.  Most of them are variations of meat, potatoes, some vegetables, and a thick, brown muck.  I saw a commercial that Campbell's was introducing 20+ new soup varieties so next time I was at the grocery I perused the soup aisle and grabbed a few cans of savory wet (new phrase I just coined).


I couldn't find my digital camera in a hurry as I was preparing my lunch so I took these pictures using my new iPhone (thus they're not as sharp as I'd like).  But let's steer the focus back directly onto the soup.  First off, is it even a good idea?  I have to admit I had some serious reservations.  Look, I'm an adventurous eater, you take me into an ethnic restaurant, sushi bar, neighborhood deli, whatever, I'll gladly try two of the wildest thing on the menu.

But there's just something about those neon orange buffalo wings (or boneless wings as is usually my case).  I'm sure you've all had them, at BW-3, at Hooter's, some smutty sports bar, you know them and if you've had them surely they left some sort of impression.  They're not bad, don't get me wrong, in the moment, but they don't agree with most stomachs, from what friends have shared, and from what I've often encountered on the drive home from said establishments.  Thus, a thick, festering soup with the key ingredient or at least overarching theme being that very same blinding orange sauce sort of scared me.  Even pouring it into a bowl I had to sort of pep talk myself into going through with this.


After the first bite I wasn't sure exactly how I felt but it wasn't bad and certainly not the taste torture I'd wrongly feared.  Soon I found that I was I starting to eat it faster, then faster, really devouring it in a way I never do soups.  I liked it!  Its thick and creamy and pleasant but the real joy comes from the slight singe and burn you feel in your throat after each bite.  People who don't like spicy stuff shouldn't be frightened away as while it does have a slight kick its more of a flavorful boost than any heat seeker's next conquest.  I didn't even mind the usually suspect and flavorless carrots and celery as everything tasted good swimming in the Kickin' Buffalo-Style witches' brew.  I'll definitely get this again, and while surprisingly good, not sure how well it'd hold up to multiple repeat meals as it could potentially wear out its welcome, but as an occasional treat it quickly jumped toward the top of the slippery, soupy pack.

Overall Grade: B 

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Me vs. Scotland Video - Part #1 - 4



Creator of Review the World Brian H. journeys from small town Hamilton, Ohio to Scotland with his friend Steve S. A multi-part travelogue detailing the trip with authenticity and fun.







(As of 2013 parts #5-7 have not and will not be posted currently.  Thank you.)

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Batman Infinity - Episode #3



The third and final episode of our ghetto re-imagining of the Batman mythos. This episode sees the series debut of The Joker, Bane, Crossbones, and Edward Nigma. See the Dark Knight as you've never seen before.

Friday, November 2, 2012

B&T Show #16: Season One Finale



The Brian & Tim Show is a series I co-star in.  Unlike other videos on RtW I'm merely on-screen talent on this show, all of the shooting, editing, creative decisions, etc. are by Team Sandnut productions founder Adam S.

It's Friday and new episode time. This time, it's the first season finale of the Brian and Tim Show. Everything here is what's left on our computer, even some recently discovered footage from spring 2011. In this episode: expired Kroger gelatin, Mountain Dew Comparisons, Pringles in the bathroom, Amy's Breakfast Scramble Wrap, and a very odd assortment of ... dextrose candies?

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Jupiter Force 3: Extinction Level Event



This is the third (and final) part of the Jupiter Force trilogy. It's the final chapter in our sci-fi saga and the direct sequel to the original film (Jupiter Force 2 was a prequel). This time the ranks of the Jupiter Force are depleted and Xavier Darkskies and the evil Digital Alliance are taking over the galaxy using mind altering drugs.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

RtW 2012 Halloween Special



It's the last Friday in October so that means it's time for the sixth annual Brian and Tim Show/Review the World Halloween Special. This year, the guys return to where Review the World began and look at a whole assortment of items including cheap masks, Halloween beer, and numerous other things that go bump in the night.

Friday, October 19, 2012

B&T Show #15: Jack in the Box, Candy Corn M&Ms, & Renaissance Fair



The Brian & Tim Show is a series I co-star in.  Unlike other videos on RtW I'm merely on-screen talent on this show, all of the shooting, editing, creative decisions, etc. are by Team Sandnut productions founder Adam S.

It's Friday, so that means new episode time! In this week's episode the guys grab some late night grub at Jack in the Box, look at the new candy corn M&Ms, and then Tim has a special look at the Ohio Renaissance Fair with a special appearance by Captain John Stout!

Friday, October 12, 2012

B&T Show #14: Planet of the Apes Toy & Big Jak Energy Drinks



The Brian & Tim Show is a series I co-star in.  Unlike other videos on RtW I'm merely on-screen talent on this show, all of the shooting, editing, creative decisions, etc. are by Team Sandnut productions founder Adam S.

In this episode, the guys look at an action figure named "Limbo" from the Tim Burton "Planet of the Apes" film and then it's time for some cheap energy drinks found at the local Big Lots.

Friday, October 5, 2012

B&T Show #13: Potato Chip Challenge & Ric Flair Toy Car



The Brian & Tim Show is a series I co-star in.  Unlike other videos on RtW I'm merely on-screen talent on this show, all of the shooting, editing, creative decisions, etc. are by Team Sandnut productions founder Adam S.

In this week's episode, the guys look at five different brands of potato chips and then Brian goes solo and reviews a Ric Flair toy car from the late 1990s.

Friday, September 28, 2012

B&T Show #12: Ruffles Jalapeno Chips & Pop Culture Energy Drinks



The Brian & Tim Show is a series I co-star in.  Unlike other videos on RtW I'm merely on-screen talent on this show, all of the shooting, editing, creative decisions, etc. are by Team Sandnut productions founder Adam S.

In this episode, the guys try some new chips from Ruffles and then some pop culture inspired energy drinks.

Friday, September 21, 2012

B&T Show #11: Dark Knight Soda & Superhero Trading Cards



The Brian & Tim Show is a series I co-star in.  Unlike other videos on RtW I'm merely on-screen talent on this show, all of the shooting, editing, creative decisions, etc. are by Team Sandnut productions founder Adam S.

Superheroes unite in this episode as Brian gives his thoughts on the Batman Dark Knight Soda and then the guys look at some generic superhero trading cards.

Friday, September 14, 2012

B&T Show #10: 80's Candy Mix



The Brian & Tim Show is a series I co-star in.  Unlike other videos on RtW I'm merely on-screen talent on this show, all of the shooting, editing, creative decisions, etc. are by Team Sandnut productions founder Adam S.

In this episode, the guys try twelve different types of 80's candy

Friday, September 7, 2012

B&T Show #9: Crazy Chocolate Candy Bars



The Brian & Tim Show is a series I co-star in.  Unlike other videos on RtW I'm merely on-screen talent on this show, all of the shooting, editing, creative decisions, etc. are by Team Sandnut productions founder Adam S.

In this episode ... Yorkie, Toffee Crunch, and Club bars from England and Nestle Girl Scout Crunch Bars

Friday, August 31, 2012

B&T Show #8: Expired Indian Soda, Trenton Walking Tour, & Punch Balls



The Brian & Tim Show is a series I co-star in.  Unlike other videos on RtW I'm merely on-screen talent on this show, all of the shooting, editing, creative decisions, etc. are by Team Sandnut productions founder Adam S.

Featured in this episode -- Expired "Thumbs Up" soda from India, a walking tour of downtown Trenton, Ohio, and Punch Balls

Friday, August 24, 2012

B&T Show #7: Pop Tarts - Brand Name vs. Generics



The Brian & Tim Show is a series I co-star in.  Unlike other videos on RtW I'm merely on-screen talent on this show, all of the shooting, editing, creative decisions, etc. are by Team Sandnut productions founder Adam S.

It's the debut of the Brand Name vs. Generics series as Brian and Tim try nine different kinds of pop tarts.

Friday, August 17, 2012

B&T Show #6: Lost Footage from Summer 2011



The Brian & Tim Show is a series I co-star in.  Unlike other videos on RtW I'm merely on-screen talent on this show, all of the shooting, editing, creative decisions, etc. are by Team Sandnut productions founder Adam S.

A special episode this week as some of the lost footage we just recently found from a shoot in July 2011 has been edited and put together just for your viewing pleasure. Featured in this episode ... Franks Bubble Gum, Play-Doh Creations, and a never before seen Bag of Crap.

Friday, August 10, 2012

B&T Show #5: Penn Station & Doritos Locos Tacos



The Brian & Tim Show is a series I co-star in.  Unlike other videos on RtW I'm merely on-screen talent on this show, all of the shooting, editing, creative decisions, etc. are by Team Sandnut productions founder Adam S.

Another week another new episode! This week the guys try some subs from Penn Station and then stop off at Taco Bell to sample the new Doritos Locos Tacos. Enjoy!

Friday, August 3, 2012

B&T Show #4: Jones Soda Candy & Pear Tree Soda



The Brian & Tim Show is a series I co-star in.  Unlike other videos on RtW I'm merely on-screen talent on this show, all of the shooting, editing, creative decisions, etc. are by Team Sandnut productions founder Adam S.

It's episode two of the new season of the Brian and Tim Show. This time, the guys go back and visit and old friend in the form of Jones Soda. In this episode, first up is three different types of Jones Soda candy, followed by some Pear Tree Soda from last Christmas.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Go! Road Trip #4



Brian and Paul hit the road again! They start off with some food cart street tacos on East Ave. in Hamilton, OH then venture out to an A&W Restaurant for root beer, burgers with "special" sauce, then go shopping and adventuring in Big Lots!

Thursday, July 26, 2012

B&T Show #3: Fruit Ninja Board Game & Tim Visits the Fair



The Brian & Tim Show is a series I co-star in.  Unlike other videos on RtW I'm merely on-screen talent on this show, all of the shooting, editing, creative decisions, etc. are by Team Sandnut productions founder Adam S.

It's the season premiere of the Brian and Tim Show! In our first episode of the season, the guys first take a look at Fruit Ninja, the board game companion to the popular Xbox 360 Kinect game. Then, Tim takes a visit to the Butler County Fair where he tries some fair fare, visits with some animals, and plays some carnival games.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

5 Random Game Boy Games

When I worked at a game store one of my favorite pastimes (besides instigating rivalries between customers) was playing handheld games.  In fact, the Game Boy Player accessory for the GameCube is probably my favorite video game-related thing ever.  I've gotten so much use out of that thing.  So, that all in mind, I decided the other day I felt like going to a local game shop, paying my two bits, man, and bringing home some new games!  I wanted to go random, but felt putting my hand into a container full of loose cartridges blind wasn't the best idea, owing to the potential of getting doubles or games I've previously owned, so just grabbed some oddities.  Here are my findings:

Battle Arena Toshinden


Fighting games on portable systems have always confounded me.  Especially on the Game Boy where there's only two buttons.  I remember my brother getting Mortal Kombat on the Game Boy and it being such an eyesore.  Years later I got Primal Rage for my Game Gear, it definitely was an improvement visually, yet still got tedious fairly quickly.  I'm unfamiler with the Battle Arena Toshinden mythos but am ready to scrap!


I'm a sucker for a cute, cheerful face so choose Ellis, an orphaned dancer from a traveling theater troupe seeking her father (who may or may not be dead).  Damn!  Some asshole miner named Rungo Iron smacked me into oblivion with a gigantic concrete baseball bat.  This is fun button-mashing mayhem with difficultly level settings if you want more challenging fights.  Not bad given its limitations.

Blade


Wesley Snipes time!  Let's do some Blade stuff.  Pretty indifferent toward the comic character and wasn't too impressed by the film series.  But I'd totally be up for cutting some undead vampires up with a sword or something.


Oh, what the hell is this?  It's like a shooting game from behind the character similar to Cabal.  The targeting and control is awful.  This is a nightmare.


Now this is more like it!  I was about to toss the game into my aquarium as new decor for the fishes but then I found out each stage has different gameplay.  This, Chinatown, is a side-scrolling beat 'em up which is more my speed.  Not cool that it takes like, a dozen or more attacks and far too much time to eliminate one baddie, but still fun.  Graphics and colors are quite solid on all the various stages.

The Little Mermaid 2: Pinball Frenzy


So, back when working the game store one of my favorite closet obsessions was Pokémon Pinball: Ruby & Sapphire.  I was never more than a very casual fan of Pokémon but that game had crazy replay value as you collected the little creatures the more pinball ass you kicked.  And I loves me some pinball!  Got to say, as shitty as these graphics are, not to mention how glitchy all the screens are on my cartridge, hearing "Part of Your World" even in this simplistic version is charming.


This game is based off of the 2000 film and thus there are two different tables to choose from: Ariel or Melody.  But I'm seeing red, if you know what I mean, so went with the Little Mermaid herself Ariel!


Here's the top-half of the table and it's not looking too terribly bad.


And this is the bottom, I guess?  Looks more like a kindergartner's scribbling and a beginner programmer's first failure.  The dynamics of pinball are all off and it's hard to get a good rhythm going.  Just like the title of Little Mermaid's arguably unnecessary sequel I'm going to "Return (this) to the Sea"!

Extreme Sports with The Berenstain Bears


I didn't read many Berenstain Bears books growing up but am an extreme sports connoisseur (well, to be fair, I skateboard and used to be able to pull off some pretty cool stuff on a scooter) and this sounded too ludicrous to ignore.  I can imagine the sales pitch in some boardroom meeting: "Let's make them bears extreme!"


There's six different events to choose from.  So far so good.


Why not start with bobsledding?  I caught 10 min. of Cool Runnings once on cable in '96.


What the fuck?  Besides my makeshift team of casually dressed bears in a bobsled the entire background is black?  Who turned out the lights?


Never mind let's try white water rafting down some extreme rapids!  This should be a rush.


Black screen.  Again.  The only ones smiling are those damn bears at this point.


Here's some sports I can relate a bit more too: BMX biking and skateboarding!  Joyce Park near my house has a killer BMX bike course and I've been known to wipeout on a skateboard once or thrice.  Guess what?  More darkness.  Fail.

Power Quest


I needed one game that I knew nothing about.  A big risk.  Known in Japan as Gekito Power Modeler which doesn't tell me much but I'm intrigued.


So right off the bat we're introduced to the story which is about young kids known as "modelers" who are swept up in a new craze of fighting with model robots.  I'm liking this already.


We get some more exposition as your character is at school as the bell rings.  You go home, mom tells you about a big battle championship coming up, you get a gift certificate in the mail, and then you're here at this old creep's shop.  There's five robots you can get but without a picture I went with the one with the coolest name: Axe (chosen over such gems as Borot and Gong).


Next you get to walk around your hometown and this is again kind of cool.  You wander the streets and look for people to battle to earn some experience leading up to the big event.


The playground is a great place to go bash some robot face.  Axe, my bot, is the grey one with the alien-like head.  We're a team.


Here I am getting thrashed in the classroom.  So, yeah, this is pretty much that movie Real Steel come to life.  And it's great.  An RPG/fighting title and the whole concept of being a kid and collecting stuff like robots and running around fighting other kids I can totally relate to or at least enjoy on some personal level.  I haven't gotten too deep yet but apparently there's depth to this game and I'm excited to explore and conquer it.

So, there you have it, five games played and sashayed.  I may do this again down the road, lots of Gameboy games left out there to examine, or even branch out and grab some SNES or other titles.  Hope you had fun!  I've got some robots to ruin.