Saturday, November 20, 2010

Review the World TV - "Pilot" Episode

A never before seen exclusive! This three-part video was our first attempt at a Review the World "TV show" back in January of 2004 -- so it actually pre-dates the era of RtW. Hosted by RtW creator Brian and former contributor Nick, the guys review all sorts of random things in a fun romp into the world of review!

Christmas capsules that grow in water, sour spray paint candy, Pirates of the Caribbean theatrical poster, Deli Jelly Pizza 

The Matrix: Tank action figure, Mountain Holler soda, Guacamole! Doritos, Transformer Robot Team action figure 

G.I. Joe Commando Attack board game, Nestle Wonderballs - Christmas edition, M&M Mini's - Sinbad edition, Brian drinks "black death" 

Sunday, October 24, 2010

RtW 2010 Halloween Special

Your favorite Halloween hosts are back for 2010! It's the fourth annual Review the World Halloween Special. A great number of items are reviewed including ancient XBOX video games, Halloween pop tarts, and the first ever Halloween Bag of Crap. Enjoy!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Hyde's Restaurant (Hamilton, OH)

(image courtesy of Google)

Hyde's Resturant is an eating institution in Hamilton, OH dating back to 1946.  It sits precariously on a concrete island in-between Hancock Ave. and South Erie Blvd. (Rt. 4).  Unlike most restaurants where I jump headlong into the food and my overall thoughts there's a bit of backstory here.  We'll start with a confession: I was scared of Hyde's.  Okay, maybe that's not entirely true, perhaps saying I was intimidated would be more accurate.  I'd heard some horror stories (like most heresy I assumed much of what I was told was largely fabricated and/or exaggerated), especially about its interior, their website also claims most of their business comes from regulars who eat there 1-2 times per day, leading me to wonder, would I stick out like a sore thumb?

So, to start, I'll tell you that I was pleasantly surprised and all of that concern was embarrassingly unnecessary.  The interior?  It was bigger than I'd expected.  I figured it'd be cramped but there were actually lots of places to choose from in regards to seating.  It was also cleaner and generally nicer than I'd expected.  After 50+ years of grease, smoke (thankfully in Ohio it's illegal to smoke indoors in public places now -- although I heard back in the day this place would be clouded in heavy cigarette smoke from open 'till close), etc. I wasn't sure what to expect.

I eyed a spot I wanted and we made our way right over.  The spot was one of the booths with a big window directly against it that looks out onto Rt. 4.  From the road, hundreds of times, I've peered over and seen that exact spot so it was only natural that's where I'd want to sit now that I'd finally mustered up the courage to go inside.

We did have a great view -- I always prefer sitting in booths or tables near natural sunlight and this definitely fit that bill.  At one point across the way a train went by and we could literally feel it vibrating through the earth and rumbling underneath us.

Here I am happily awaiting my meal and enjoying being back on the road doing restaurant reviews as it'd been awhile.

Here's my buddy Geo who had some childhood memories established here and was glad to be back.  He was impressed at how their menu had progressed and evolved, now having a lot more options, including some healthier fare than offered in years past.

Geo's vegetable soup looked like the kind your grandma would make and that's pretty terrific.

The breakfast special I ordered came with a drink but I declined and decided to stick with water.  At that point I hadn't had any soda in nine days.  But, the allure of Pepsi was too great, so I gave in and said I'd go ahead and take one.  Cola and breakfast are a combination for me that dates back to childhood, back then my mom would serve me eggs, bacon, and toast, I'd take a bite of each and hold them in my mouth until I took a sip of Coca-Cola and then I'd chew it all up together.  To my young tastes it was a delicious concoction.  To much information?

Breakfast is served!  The breakfast special comes with two eggs, potatoes, and your choice of meat.  I got bacon and it was a plentiful serving and about as good as it gets.  The eggs I got over medium, I don't like mine too runny, so opt out of over easy, but do enjoy yolk so it's my method of choice.  I don't think I've ever had a place make over medium eggs so perfectly, though.  That may sound like hyperbole but I'm being sincere -- they got it just right.

I'm also a huge fan of home fries, especially of this variety, and not enough places make them this way.  They were reminiscent of the kind cooked up in family kitchens all over this area and out towards Kentucky and throughout the midwest I'd guess.  The three components on my plate worked wonderfully together.

Then there was the toast, I went with rye, and while I'm not a huge toast eater this was one of the best pieces I've ever had.  It was saturated in butter, and no, that's not a complaint, more like a revelation of love, and I used both strawberry and grape jelly to really make it pop.  So good!

Geo had a roast beef sandwich, he sort of blanked when asked what he'd like on it, but did manage to ask for onions, so while maybe not the way he'd probably eat it again, he tackled it with light toppings, besides the onion just pickles and a little ketchup to moisten it.  Roast beef can sometimes be flavorless but he let me try it and it had some real flavor and is a nice, lighter lunch option.

Then it was time for dessert!  Now, Hyde's is famous for their pies, so even though I was rather full I couldn't refuse.  The one that most called my name was blueberry but I went with apple.  My reasoning?  Not getting the blueberry then would give me a bigger inclination to return and give me something to look forward to.  Also, apple pie is all-American, and I was in a distinctly American diner so it just felt fight.  Geo got strawberry rhubarb which he gushed about.  We both declined whipped cream or ice cream, although, I think a little whipped topping would have been a nice touch in retrospect, but we both did have ours warmed up which was a good choice.

Wow -- this was the thickest piece of apple pie I'd ever had.  The bulk of it is made up of what I can only describe as a sort of cinnamon apple filling, very thick and jelly-like, with nice chunks of apples mixed in as well.  The crust was the big star, though, it tasted defiantly homemade and was a nice contrast to the sweetness of the pie's interior.  My senior quote in my high school yearbook was, "I like pie", and those words never rang truer than when eating this.

Geo couldn't leave without a Silly Bandz bracelet.

Overall a very cool and enjoyable experience.  It's small, hometown, absolutely authentic eating.  It's quaint and with lots of character, but certainly not to be avoided, and I'd urge those like me who are filled with curiosity to definitely give it a shot.  My only regret is not having been sooner and more often, my parents' place is just a couple miles down the road, I could have easily rode my bike down when I was younger or drove by after classes years ago to get properly stuffed.  For under $10 I walked away full and happy and you can't ask for much more.

Overall Grade: A 

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Chubby Kids Soda Video Reviews

Chubby Kids Soda review #1: Tutti Frutti

Chubby Kids Soda review #2: Cream Scream

Chubby Kids Soda review #3: Rock 'N Rolla Cola

Chubby Kids Soda review #4: Purple Power

Chubby Kids Soda review #5: Reggae Red

Sunday, August 22, 2010

OBT presents: A New Scar Every Day #1

The "Oh, Brother!" Team is back! After many years of inactivity your mom's favorite group of rowdy bros are back to hurt themselves. Old faces step out of retirement to bump again, new blood brings the goods, and the end result, people without health insurance getting seriously hurt for a good laugh. We've got bush jumps, human catapults, skateboarding, tree tackling, barrel surfing, broken knees, and so much more!

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Get In the Trunk 2: The Trunk Strikes Back

In this action-packed sequel to the underground phenomenon and cult classic "Get In the Trunk, #$%^@!", two friends who were previously attacked by an infamous drug dealer named Stretch seek their revenge. Will good triumph over evil? The only guarantee is someone is getting thrown in a trunk!

Watch the original Get In the Trunk, #%@^&!

Watch the third film! Get In the Trunk 3: All Trunks Go to Heaven

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Kid Cuisine - Deep Sea Adventure Fish Sticks

Hey everyone!  Has it really been since last October that I unveiled an actual article?  How in the hell are you guys?  I apologize for the lack of reviews but hope that in the meantime some of you have checked out some of the videos I've been posting regularly elsewhere on the site.  So much has happened since my last article -- my wife and I moved into our first house, I graduated college, and most unbelievably amazing of all... I'm now the proud parent of the ridiculously adorable Owen Leo!

Things are returning to some form of normalcy, my wife's back to work, and I have taken on the new role of dad duty.  Today (like many) I had about an hour window of opportunity to get out of the house and enjoy some short-lived freedom.  In the hallowed building that formerly held iconic toy store Johnny's Toys now resides Grandview Weekend Outlet, a nefariously cheesy, desecrated D-level Big Lots imitation, it's the home of some of the most old, cheap wares you'll likely ever see.  But, still, to walk the floors that once belonged to one of the most magical toy stores this '80's kid ever encountered is worth the trip.  While there, surrounded by such oddities as Easter bunny lapel pins and toy slime that dried up decades ago (not to mention a peculiar Fat Albert-themed robe) inspiration hit.  I needed to do a review!  When I get that feeling I literally want to review every item in every aisle of every store.  And, I seriously wish I could do that for your reading pleasure and my own uncanny kicks.  That leads us to today -- a brand-new review!

One of the very first things I ever wrote about for RtW was Kid Cuisine (Rock'n Roll Taco Roll-Ups to be exact).  Now, over five years later, everyone's favorite kids-themed TV dinners make their triumphant return.  I'm a guy who likes seafood more than most (as a child one yearly birthday gift was going to a restaurant of my choice, which in my case was undoubtedly always Red Lobster).  That being said, was I even gutsy enough to put on my wetsuit and take the "Deep Sea Adventure"?

Before pursuing further, take a moment to really soak in the packaging above, it's rather stupendous.  Yes, why yes, you are correct.  That is indeed ducks dressed as both Frankenstein's monster and a chivalrous knight.  Even if I could tell you why (I can't) I wouldn't, as whatever fantasy scenario you've cooked up in your twisted head is likely much cooler.

Here's the meal sans proper heating.  It appears to be a paltry assortment of minced fish flesh put into irregular shapes, some frozen "vegetables" (I wish I had a radish like in Super Mario Bros. 2 I could throw at the wise guy that left out the greens!), and a package of "Gummi Worm Fish Bait" which is pretty adorable.

Your dinner is served!  Light the candles, dim the lights, and put on some mood music.  It's time to eat.  I threw my worms haphazardly to give the appearance of a full-on invasion.  My excuse for their unlikely color schemes was a mad scientist dipped them in a potion hence they're radioactively radical hues.  Sadly, they were the worst part of the meal.  The worms were stale and offensive tasting.  The corn, while I've never processed it well (too much information?), was fine and a nice accompaniment.  I've never been the biggest macaroni and cheese fan but would never turn down a bowl, especially if I was a meddlesome houseguest like Alf.  Finally, the fishsticks, while not entirely unlike nibbling on the Ray Fillet, weren't bad.  I like my fish like I like my women... battered (kidding!).  Use a condiment like cocktail or tartar sauce to make them more palatable.

I don't know what it is about Kid Cuisine but I just can't stop myself from opening the freezer door at the grocery and picking a box or two up on occasion.  It'd be embarrassing to be an old man getting food marketed towards grade school goofballs but that's apparently the road I'm headed down.  As always, thanks so much for reading, and hopefully it won't be another half-year before I moisten your unmentionables with another article!

Overall Grade: B- 

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Get In the Trunk, #%@^&!

A friend tries to cheer up a pal who's down on his luck but things take a decidedly bad turn when infamous drug dealer Stretch arrives.

Watch Get In the Trunk 2: The Trunk Strikes Back

Saturday, May 1, 2010

OBT presents: Grandmaster Nick Is Thirsty

Grandmaster Nick goes to the store to get some drinks -- wearing a belly shirt?

Monday, April 19, 2010

Hamilton to Hollywood

Back in 2003 my friend Nick and I ventured to Hollywood, California from Hamilton, Ohio.  At the time I was working three jobs simultaneously, saving cash for our journey and, post-high school, completely unsure of what I was going to do with my life.  We took Greyhound buses across the country, exploring new places and meeting interesting people along the way.  Now, almost seven years later, it’s amazing to look back at our adventure and fondly remember the experiences we shared.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

OBT presents: Chicks Dig Scars #14

This is an ongoing series from the "Oh, Brother!" Team. Watch us laugh heartily as we hurt ourselves sliding down hills, going down stairs in computer chairs, jumping in bushes, riding shopping carts, pulling pranks, breaking hearts, and other misc. tomfoolery.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

OBT presents: Chicks Dig Scars #13

This is an ongoing series from the "Oh, Brother!" Team. Watch us laugh heartily as we hurt ourselves sliding down hills, going down stairs in computer chairs, jumping in bushes, riding shopping carts, pulling pranks, breaking hearts, and other misc. tomfoolery.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

OBT presents: Chicks Dig Scars #12

This is an ongoing series from the "Oh, Brother!" Team. Watch us laugh heartily as we hurt ourselves sliding down hills, going down stairs in computer chairs, jumping in bushes, riding shopping carts, pulling pranks, breaking hearts, and other misc. tomfoolery.

Batman Infinity - Episode #2

Batman Infinity was a short-lived series some friends and I created, an alternative universe retelling taking the popular Batman mythos and introducing new perspectives on old stories and characters from the comic book zeitgeist.

In this, the second episode, I think it's fair to say, after a surprisingly well received and fun debut, we had a misfire. The episode, and its video portions here on YouTube, can be broken into its three parts:

Part 1 - One very long take, no cuts, of Hal Jordan (Green Lantern) and Bruce Banner (Batman) taking a walk together while holding a conversation. Its mostly expository dialogue, Hal reveals his recent journey to outer space visiting the Green Lantern Corps and inheriting his powers, talk of the mysterious Martian Manhanuter who made an auspicious debut in the first episode, and other misc. verbose banter.

Part 2 - My favorite scene in Batman Infinity lore, the interrogation of Jonathan Crane (Scarecrow) by Batman. In it, the actors lost it momentarily and laughed, as cameraman, I made a decision not to cut, but to keep filming forcing them to improvise and continue on. After that this portion is focused on Green Lantern finding common criminal Matt Hagen and in their ensuing fight, accidently turning him into monstrous villain Clayface.

Part 3 - Similarly to the too long opening scene, the ending battle is rather lengthy, partly, goofy enough as it is, because we were intent on destroying a piece of furniture in my parents' backyard so we kept drawing out the initial fight as we spontaneously thought of how to destroy it. Then the fight draws towards the back of the yard, where, temporarily knocking both Batman and Green Lantern out of the fight, Clayface dastardly flees the scene.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

RtW Webisodes Directory

The RtW Webisodes are the precursor to what is now known as The Brian and Tim Show.  Similarly to that show, during this series my sole function was in-front of the camera as a co-host, unlike everything else on RtW, creative control (editing, production, etc.) was in the hands of my pals Adam S. and Tim (Team Sandnut Productions).

Season Three

Brian and Tim are back with all new reviews including the return of an old favorite of RTW webisode lore.

Brian and Tim return with an all new webisode where they try a wild and massive selection of dollar store drinks.

The RTW TV crew is back again with more new content. In this episode Brian and Tim take a Mondo Squeezers juice drink challenge and discuss the virtues of a Slim Jim Caribbean Jerk beef stick. In solo reviews, Brian looks at some dollar store Play-Doh and Tim tries a Japanese restaurant in the local mall. Did we mention also there is a ninja battle of epic porportions?

After a year absence, Review the World TV returns in HD with all new content. In this, the first of our new episodes, Brian and Tim review Dale Earnhardt Jr's "Big Mo" candy bars, a kids fish toss game, and an Arizona gift bag. Brian goes solo looking at Super Mario gummy candy. Finally, in a new segment called "On the Street", Brian gives us a walking tour of downtown Hamilton, Ohio. A lot of stuff in this jam-packed first episode!

Season Two

#23 - Easter Basket of Crap 

#22 - The Hot Sauce Challenge 

Season One

#20 - Summer Fun

#15 - Martian Matter Alien Playset 

#14 - Bag of Crap #2 

#11 - Bag of Crap #1 

#4 - Jones Soda Dessert Pack 

#3 - The TV Dinner Challenge 

Thursday, February 4, 2010

OBT presents: Chicks Dig Scars #11

This is an ongoing series from the "Oh, Brother!" Team. Watch us laugh heartily as we hurt ourselves sliding down hills, going down stairs in computer chairs, jumping in bushes, riding shopping carts, pulling pranks, breaking hearts, and other misc. tomfoolery.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

OBT presents: Chicks Dig Scars #10

This is an ongoing series from the "Oh, Brother!" Team. Watch us laugh heartily as we hurt ourselves sliding down hills, going down stairs in computer chairs, jumping in bushes, riding shopping carts, pulling pranks, breaking hearts, and other misc. tomfoolery.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Escape from Hellview

A short film some buddies and I shot about an abandoned town where the only people that remain are a group of friends trying to escape and a crazed killer.

Monday, January 11, 2010

OBT presents: Chicks Dig Scars #9

This is an ongoing series from the "Oh, Brother!" Team. Watch us laugh heartily as we hurt ourselves sliding down hills, going down stairs in computer chairs, jumping in bushes, riding shopping carts, pulling pranks, breaking hearts, and other misc. tomfoolery.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Battle Rap House Party

Here's some highlights from the NC-17 vs. Nocturnal the Night Boy one-on-one battle rap. Also performing The Altered Beast (featuring me!) and Distorted Boy and more.