G.I. Joe Spy Troops: Beachhead

Beachhead, my old buddy!  It's good to see you again.  Some people upon hearing that name and if unfamiliar with the G.I. Joe brand may conjure up other mental imagery or memories like that night on Long Beach.  This is not that sort of beach, er, head.  I loved the G.I. Joe toys as an '80's kid.  My brother and I collected just about everything (including Army Ants) but my personal favorites were the G.I. Joe action figures.  Loved them.  Besides enacting my own large-scale wars and battles in my backyard (complete with swamps made with a gardening tool, water hose, and a little ingenuity) the size and articulation of that line made them perfect to enact wrestling matches on my bedspread or kitchen table, where I'd use that little plastic thing (pressure guard?) that came in the pizza box to keep the lid off of the pizza as a table to bash each other with.

I've bought so much junk over the years for Review the World I often stumble upon things in our spare room (pronounce like  its the name of a magical land like Mr. Tumnus for some additional fun) I have no recollection of the origin for.  When/were did I buy this?  Where in the hell is the rest of the package?

Now, upon "opening it" I discovered the package folded out to resemble something more closely resembling a traditional G.I. Joe package.  A truncated vertical one.  Still, there was a surprising amount of stuff crammed in there.  I'm leading to this being a Dollar General or Family Dollar purchase as you'll often see more popular toy lines sold there at slightly cheaper rates in smaller packages.

The toy itself is really great.  It's from the Spy Troops line which had a tie-in with a 2003 direct-to-video CGI film (Beachhead appeared in the film but I remember it more for introducing us to Agent Faces).  This is the fifth of fifteen versions of Beachhead made dating back to his original figure in '86.  I'd forgotten how much fun it was to play with a G.I. Joe.  While never one of my absolute favorites I have always liked the character in the different Joe media (comics, cartoons, etc.).  While Beachhead is sort of a strange moniker his real name Wayne R. Sneeden doesn't strike fear on its own but maybe a divisive chortle.  His bio card is fantastic with some choice lines including stating he's "a highly motivated individual with a high pain threshold, a moderate temperament, and a low tolerance for under-acheivers".  Sounds like my parole officer.

Beachhead went on a secret mission to infiltrate a barn he'd heard reported Dr. Mindbender was experimenting with mind control in.

But he walked into a trap!  The floor was a trapdoor that released and dropped him 25 ft. below into a pit of... DVDs?  Yes, my son Owen apparently felt necessary to empty an entire crate of DVDs all over the floor so they served as Beachhead's undoing.

In closing, really great toy, he looks like a badass, pose-ability and movement are top-notch, and helped further rekindle my passion for G.I. Joe.  Last few years I've been content to collect the old series' on DVD and watch them on late nights but this totally makes me want to scour the Internet, thrift stores, and yard sales and bulk up on my toy collection again.  Yo, Joe!

Overall Grade: A 

Lay's Classic BLT Flavored Potato Chips

Today we're looking at a new, likely short-lived, chip flavor from the fine folks at Lay's.  Before examining the chip itself I feel both Lay's and the BLT sandwich need their proper due via my reminisces and thoughts.  Pull up a chair or if riding on the subway whilst reading steal a quick glance at the hottie across the aisle and dive right into this purposeless prose!

So everyone knows Lay's, right?  At least in some incarnation.  My father was always a big Lay's Classic potato chip guy.  Which was the "original" flavor -- no special seasonings or gimmicks just salty, greasy chips.  But, their old tag line, "betcha can't eat just one" was always a grave challenge.  As a young child I wondered if there were some sort of scientific data to back up this claim.  I can recall multiple attempts I made.  Eating one chip quickly, and folding up the bag and tossing it away, already planning my victory parade for besting the dolts at Lay's.  But, the questions start arising, after eating that initial chip, how long do you have until you can eat the next one?  An hour?  Or perhaps a day?  Or was the challenge ultimately betting that we couldn't go our entire lifetimes with having just eaten one Lay's branded potato chip?  One last anecdote from childhood.  I remember seeing on a bag of Lay's one afternoon an 800-number where you could call and give your comments.  I'd never heard of such a thing.  When you're young the phone is a mysterious tool that gives you access the a world outside of the confines of home.  So I called.  It was as uneventful as you can imagine and I'd kill for an audio recording of that conversation today.  I remember it was a female representative who answered my call, I sheepishly told her my dad was a big fan of their chips, we ate them all the time, and that's about all I could choke out.  So that's my background with Lay's, what about BLT sandwiches?

When was the last time you've had an honest to goodness BLT?  While I remember the taste as if it was only yesterday I've admittedly not had one in, I don't know, at least a decade or more?  And it's not that their not good by any means.  For starters, when dining out, most places don't offer them on the menu, but in my case if you ever find a place that does they seem to pale in comparison to other items, perhaps due to familiarity and comfort of your favorites (i.e. a Philadelphia cheesesteak).  The one place I can think of offhand locally that has them I can recall a deterrent being  it seems like you'd get less for your money.  A BLT is a big winner in the flavor department but there's not really a lot to them -- toast, bacon (which is typically used as an extra add-on like on burgers not the main ingredient), and the veggies (which are fewer than what you'd get on the typical burger or hoagie).  I remember my mom making them on a few occasions in my youth but outside of that I don't believe our paths have crossed since.  One last note, a lot of my friends are picky eaters, but when it comes to the BLT, you can't really alter its contents.  Of course, you must have the salty, crunchy bacon, as well as the crisp lettuce and juicy, fresh tomato slices, but equally essential and important are the toast and mayonnaise.  These five factors join in a tantalizing taste union -- you do not add or subtract from the BLT you just bask in its simplicity and glory!

So, introductory tango aside, how are these chips?  Just like when walking out after a screening of The Last Airbender I had mixed feelings.  No Water, Earth, or Air nations here -- just a general malaise.  First, what did I like?  Well, a lot of times when reviewing stuff for RtW, be it for articles or on video, I pitch the item soon after and rarely finish a lot of the junk food I sample.  I actually ate this entire bag.  Granted, it wasn't a big bag, but they were good enough to grub on in-front of the TV.  Where they disappoint is they don't entirely capture the BLT aura.  There's certainly hints in there.  The bacon is present, not overpowering, and not overtly smokey which is a common cheap tactic in replicating bacon flavor in products.  The tomato seems missing, which is strange, as I've had lots of tomato and ketchup flavored snacks before so it's not a foreign concept in snacking.  A few people I chatted with wondered how would they represent lettuce?  The answer is they basically reused their "Sour Cream & Onion" formula which is pat and insipid when you're expecting something creative and new.  In fact, the chips largely taste like that more familiar variety of Lay's, with some bacon flourishes added in, and that's not quite different or unique enough to live up to expectations I'd generated.  In theory, cool idea, thought the packaging was nice, but in execution they were a slight letdown when they had potential to be a real fresh and tasty flavor of chip.

Overall Grade: C+ 

OBT presents: Crawford III

The third and final chapter in the "Oh, Brother!" Team's infamous Crawford trilogy. What happens when one member of OBT tosses a dead rat into another's face? Tune in and find out.

RtW TV 2nd Season - Episode #10 Finale

In this episode: Road Rash, Rally’s, Très Doritos, Dolls for Dudes, Funky Fusion Chips, RtW Poetry Corner, TMNT Book, Rocking Out, El Reparo, Lemon Cola Candy, Q&A #4, Talking Film, Icee Candy, Carousel of Progress toy, Q&A #5, Bloopers, and Foam Rocket.

RtW TV 2nd Season - Episode #9

In this episode: Fishing Fun, Richard’s Pizza, Randy & Sanchez Show #3, RtW Poetry Corner, Cheddar Puffs, Spicy Hawaiian Pizza, Spice Ballad, Q&A #3, and Outtakes.

OBT presents: Crawford II

In the second entry into the Crawford "holy trilogy" the misfits of the "Oh, Brother!" Team are back at their favorite park Crawford Woods ready and willing to hurt themselves.

Meet the misled youth of the OBT appearing in this video: Old Man Raw Face, the Krippled Cereal Killer, Saber, and Didge Romeo.

RtW TV 2nd Season - Episode #8

In this episode: Picking Up Eddie’s Guitar, Pod Fight #2, Toy Talk, Porta Potty, Five Guys Burgers, Trolli Soda Poppers, and Quarter Machine.