Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Transformers Gummy Candy

So, what can I say, I'm a Transformers fan, have been that way since childhood, and nothing's changed.  No, I'm no fair-weather fan; I've stuck it out through all the various incarnations, animated series', and toy lines.

I own every single episode of the 80's series (The Transformers) and 90's series (Beast Wars) on DVD.  I'm also one of the few who can say, and publicly to boot, that they religiously watched Transformers: Robots in Disguise in 2001, as well as Transformers: Armada in 2002.  On top of all that, I've just always found the concept of cars and animals changing into robotic beings astoundingly cool.

So, that leads us to today, the United States' opening day for the new Transformers film blockbuster.  And, as a result of this movie and its mega-marketing extravaganza, there are products of all types all over the place, ripe for hungry consumers to snatch up like crazy.  On my way out of a Toys 'R Us, I too was made a sucker for this merchandise blitz, as I stumbled upon a candy concoction too insane for my brain to initially comprehend.

You mean somebody green lighted the idea to make gummy renditions of everyone's favorite futuristic transforming robots?  That is to say, that I, right now, can take a big old bite out of Optimus Prime himself?  Wow!  I immediately ran up the counter and bought this beauty, not before a quick deliberation, as they also had gummy versions of Megatron and Bumblebee to decide from.

So, we know it looks cool, that’s unquestionable.  For something that’s going to run you less than a dollar, this thing has some surprisingly nice detail.  No, it’s not high art, but it’s a heck of a recreation of our beloved Autobot leader.

But, dare to ask, how did the damn thing taste?  I can’t say Optimus treated my taste buds particularly kindly.  No, the taste wasn’t awful.  But, it was very strong, and extremely artificial tasting.  Now, as a child, I could have probably munched this thing down in a minute.  But, as a discerning adult, I had a really difficult time convincing myself to finish it off.  After a few bites, I felt I could sufficiently summarize it, but I’m the type that doesn’t like to waste, so I forced myself to finish it off in a humbling span of time that I don’t like to relive.

Bonus points for making my tongue blue, though; now kids can proclaim their power, showing they have the remnants of Optimus Prime’s corpse in their mouths.

Overall Grade: B 

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