Monday, December 10, 2007

Frankford Happy Holidays chocolates


My grandma once told me there are two things that are universally loved, and those things were chocolate and fellatio.  Now, while an argument can be made for either, it’s going to be hard to convince me that everyone’s not cuckoo for cocoa.  But, this isn’t just a pass√© look at just any ordinary chocolate; nope… we’re analyzing chocolate in the auspices of a holiday-themed form.

Frankford the company is probably more closely associated with their offerings for Easter sweets, but we’ll forgive them their trespasses, and allow them to work their magic on our mouths during scarf weather, too.  And while the mittens I’m wearing is making writing this entirely too difficult for my liking, I feel it’s in nature with the motif I’m trying to create, and will continue doing whatever’s necessary to conjure that joyous Christmas aura.


Unveiled, these little chocolate Santa Claus characters are too adorable for my limited prose to properly describe.  If the sheer visual of this little guy doesn’t warm your heart, then your likely a modern day Ebenezer Scrooge, and that’s a genuine shame.


As far as taste, I can’t lie, this isn’t the highest quality chocolate on the market, by far, but did we honestly expect it to be?  The answer is assuredly no, however, as pictured above, I think these candies strong suit is elsewhere.  They make excellent additions to any tableside candy dish.  So, fill a bowl up with these, and guaranteed, your next houseguests are going to be warmed by your gentile nature and humbled by your Christmas spirit.


Also, if you want to go crazy, I don’t recommend you stitch a phallus on Rudolph on your mother’s favorite Christmas sweater, but what I do suggest is you randomly hide these chocolate merrymakers throughout your abode to give little surprises and nuggets of perpetual joy to your housemates.  They’re a super swell addition to anyone’s holidays.

Overall Grade: B 

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