Most of my friends know me as a guy who loves cartoons from his childhood, spending long nights at home with Leonardo and Shipwreck instead of out gallivanting the local nightclubs and social scenes. But, while I do enjoy comic books and old Nintendo games, many are unaware of my long lasting admiration and fanaticism with NBA basketball. There was nearly a decade where I dropped interest, but in the last few years, if nothing else, I’ll try to catch highlights of the games and keep up with the standings, etc. I think basketball is one of the fastest-moving sports, so much action, tons of personalities, etc. and I look forward each autumn to when a new season begins. To celebrate I won’t be painting my face in the colors of the Atlanta Hawks, no, I’ll be writing about some gummy snacks from 2006 that have been sitting in a closet for over three years.
The first variety of gummy is shaped in the facsimile of a basketball jersey. This is a good, fitting idea; although, it’d have been nice if they actually patterned them after authentic jerseys and not just generic ones that say “NBA”. The colors are odd, too—all yellow jersey with yellow lettering as well? How could anybody read anyone’s name or number on the back of their jerseys? On the far right is Jermaine O’Neal, known best for punching a loudmouthed Detroit fan in the face during a wild brawl between players and spectators a few years ago.
I like this one, arguably my favorite; it’s an athletic tennis shoe that surprisingly uses two colors. Upon opening one it fell into pieces—not sure if that’s faulty design or nearly 1000 days of entombment in a musty closet.
This one’s incredibly lame, it’s the NBA logo, but after three consecutive summers the details have melted away into one, lump piece of off-white ass.
The basketball was also an obvious but welcomed addition. However, why in the hell is one of the basketball’s swampy green? Maybe if these were designed to represent basketball of the Mutant League variety and not the NBA.
Speaking of, in Mutant League Football, a years long battle between my big brother and I saw his Deathskin Razors behind 26 wins to 18 to my Icebay Bashers. I think its time to continue the rivalry.
In closing, these were pretty cool, a novel concept, although the execution was lacking. NBA has never really been marketed successfully in regards to candy. I guess a gummy rendering of John Stockon wouldn’t be that appetizing to youth in general. I think had I ate these when they were fresh I’d have been happier overall. As it was, I barely nibbled on one for a few seconds before throwing in the proverbial towel and quitting. But, these aren’t the only fossilized candies in my closet… what kind of stale sweets might Review the World see in its future?
Overall Grade: C+