Twin Dragon (West Chester, OH)

  

Posted on the door of this establishment are a couple clippings from local newspapers heralding Twin Dragon as not your average buffet.  Inside there’s a fountain big enough to comfortably house the Creature from the Black Lagoon.  This place is certainly spacious, it’s by far one of the larger oriental buffets I’ve visited, and that covers a lot of ground.  There are at least six or seven different buffet tables holding every type of food imaginable… meats, soups, salads, breads, noodles and rice, mixed dishes galore, and desserts.

  

Let’s first take a look at my two plates of food.  The highlights in regards to taste and enjoyment for me were the sushi, the different crab dishes, fried wontons, noodles, and some of the combo dishes like beef and vegetable.   Not everything was good, though… for instance, take the seafood soup shown above that seemed to be made of 85% aquarium water and 15% snot.  Also, take the squid… which struck me as looking rather phallic shaped and incredibly chewy.

I can’t remember what I was drinking, but I tend to believe it was pretty average.  Lastly, the two surprise dessert plates my girlfriend made for us.  We had grapefruit and other assorted fruits, chocolate pudding and a couple cookies, and a bevy of cakes and pastries.  Granted, we only sampled these, as there’s no way we could have ate it all.  Overall, I was happy with the outing.  My girlfriend, who’s pretty anti-buffet, even thought very highly of it.  Oriental buffets are always a treat, but I’d definitely rank this one near the top of my list.

Overall Grade: A- 

T.G.I. Friday’s Mozzarella Snack Sticks

These, marketed by T.G.I. Friday’s, are another in a long line of snack foods based off popular Friday’s appetizers.  These are modeled after mozzarella cheesesticks, and are essentially brown cheese curls.  The idea itself is worth a little laughter; to but it mildly, they’re a sight to see.  But, more importantly, how do they taste?  Not that good.  Wait, I’m being a bit rough… but where these things miss the mark is that they simply taste too much like regular generic orange cheese curls.  I’ve let a couple people try these, and the results were unanimously negative.  I don’t think they’re bad, but I was expecting more flavor.  There’s something oddly amusing about the concept, but they’ll likely fade into obscurity in the near future.

Overall Grade: C+ 

Power Rangers: Dino Thunder – Vol. #5 – Triassic Triumph

This, the 5th installment of the Dino Thunder series on DVD, is about what you’d expect.  That is to say, there are plenty of outrageous plot devices, lame monsters, bad campy dialogue, and teamwork.  This version of the popular Power Rangers franchise started strong, initially capturing some of the feel and excitement of the very first series (Mighty Morphin Power Rangers) but quickly fizzling out and becoming routinely weak.  The core characters aren’t that likeable; especially Kira, the angst filled teenage girl whose rebellious sensibilities lead her to perform her own rock shows on occasion, as well as serve her duties as the yellow ranger.  Not that everything is bad, though, don’t get me wrong, this DVD as well as the series has it’s share of highlights… although personally, I don’t think it compares to some of my favorite past incarnations like Power Rangers: Wild Force and Power Rangers: Lightspeed Rescue.  The bonus features don’t change much at all from one volume to the next; a couple lame trailers, an atrocious dojo seminar segment, and a sneak peak at the next series Power Rangers: SPD rounds out the bonuses.  Overall, you know what you’re getting into, so if you’re a Power Rangers fan, give it a shot.  If you’re not a fan, find one, and then beat him up… or any random stranger will do.

Overall Grade: B- 

Action Wrestlers

Professional wrestling already has a hard enough time being taken seriously without these excuses for action figures circulating around your local dimly lit dollar store.  The packaging was very dull, and the back was entirely cardboard with absolutely no text whatsoever.

Of course, if this guy's a professional wrestler he must have a steel chair handy.  Now, this chair is red, and I'm not sure if that's any indication of his sexual predilection or not.  I'm guessing he just works as a painter for a second job, when the grappling gig isn't paying the bills.  Secondly, get a real good look at those kneepads.  They're skin colored!  Wow, now let's forget the ruby chair and focus our attention on these fashion gems.  Maybe he's working some type of chameleon gimmick, or maybe he's just got really bad arthritis in his knees and they've swollen up in the shape of safety equipment?

This, my friends, is the stare of death.  You'll usually get this when asking our buxom buddy for an autograph, or if you interrupted his daily morning McGriddle marathon.  But, you've got to admire that physique!

Underneath his rough and rowdy exterior, this "action wrestler" is really just a sweetheart inside.  When he's not bashing other oily men's skulls and bludgeoning prostitutes with his steel chair, he cuddles with it at night and falls asleep in it's iridescent red glory.

This was admittedly pretty damn dumb.  I like wrestling as much as the average teenage guy, but even I have limitations when it comes to arguably the weirdest television event ever conspired by men wearing suits in a Holiday Inn banquet room.  The packaging was laughable, and if actually played with, the toy itself would break within the first 10 minutes of slamming action.  I was impressed by the purple facial paint, though.  Way to strike fear into your opponents, tough guy!

Overall Grade: C- 

Johnny Rocket’s (Cincinnati Mills)

This theme restaurant tries to capture that 50’s hamburger joint vibe and does so with moderately good results.  After a small wait to get in, we were seated inside.  The menu isn’t what you’d call extensive, but for a place like this does it really need to be?  There are miniature jukeboxes at every table, and for 5 cents you can play a song… I went with “Mrs. Robinson” by Paul Simon.  The ordering process was rather uncomplicated, and while waiting for our food I looked around and took a couple snapshots.

Now, let’s talk about the food.  Our onion rings were served with ranch sauce, which seemed like an unusual choice, but the end result was one of the tastiest parts of the meal.  These things are good, but once they get colder they’ll taste greasier and that’s to be avoided at all costs.  My fries came with a smiley face made in ketchup, thanks to our waitress whose parents probably weren’t even alive in the famed 50’s.  My entrée?  A burger, of course!  Although not my first choice, for some odd reason I was enticed to order the “St. Louis” which is what I got.  This specialty burger is no joke; it’s good, and the bacon is a highlight, yet there’s a rather tasteless orange sauce slathered on for good measure.  The drinks were sup par; too little ice for such a big glass, they get flat a lot quicker.

  

My impressions overall are as follows… I had a pretty good time.  We were there during lunch, so it was understandably busy, but I’d like to see what’s it like during a slow period.  Our waitress wasn’t doing a real good job, but granted it seemed like all the employers were swamped and rushed.  I like theme restaurants; it’s a nice change of pace, and this one works pretty well.  As far as American eating goes, the quality of the food here is definitely worth a little cash.  I’d recommend coming in high spirits, too, because this place usually tends to be hopping.

Overall Grade: B+ 

Hot Pockets – Chicken, Cheddar, and Broccoli

I’m getting home late at night from work; I’m hungry… and what’s in the freezer?  Inside I find the left foot of my ex-girlfriend and a box of Hot Pockets.  Which would you eat?

After baking this thing thoroughly I put it on the plate with a frown.  I didn’t even want to chew the first bite up.  What I did find, though, is that Hot Pockets aren’t necessarily evil.  Sure… they’re easy, which is nice, but depending on the contents of your Hot Pockets you might actually enjoy them.  I wasn’t too thrilled with mine, but I ate it regardless and thought back fondly to a kid in junior high that was dubbed “Hot Pockets” for another reason entirely.

Overall Grade: C 

E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial – Elliot with E.T. Keychain

I scored this at a Toys ‘R Us store on clearance for $0.98.  When the movie was re-released in theatres, a bundle of new E.T. merchandise came out, met unfortunately with distaste.  The general consensus is that the items were rushed… poor items at pricey costs.  Toys ‘R Us got a lot of exclusive stuff, including this, one of two different keychains.  First off, the packaging is pretty solid, featuring an E.T. theme.  However, the promotional text on the back is laughable at best.  They encourage you to befriend your keychain, and create your own unforgettable adventures, much alike the character Elliot did with E.T. in the movie.  Then there’s some junk about bringing magic and excitement into your world.  The item itself is very cool.  Elliot is crafted nicely, complete with the lovable red zip-up jacket, and even detailed tennis shoes.  The bike is also mostly well done, including tires that rotate.  E.T. looks fine, but the biggest complaint about the keychain is the basket our alien pal is in, which is poorly designed, and fundamentally a white square with some minor design.  Overall, and especially for the excellent price I paid, I really dig it.  It tersely captures a scene from an unforgettable film, and is a neat little piece of memorabilia.

Overall Grade: A-