I gave this a C+ because if nothing else, it deserved some credit for being bizarre. The concept of cashing in on the energy drink phenomenon is one we’ve all likely seen firsthand. But this, wow, it really takes the cake for one of the more creative imitators. The brand is Freek, their slogan apparently, “Evil Energy,” and their mascot, a gray deformed face belonging to some ungodly creature. The flavor I purchased was Psycho, their orange-flavored energy drink, and there’s also Skitzo, Rage, Maniac, Screem, and dare I forget Thrill Her.
The reason for the lower grade is mostly due to taste. This, to me, tastes like an energy drink that’s been siphoned through a sweaty gym teacher’s sock, which happened to be filled with Warheads candy. The orange wasn’t an afterthought, which I dug, as a lot of generic energy drinks claim a particular flavor, only to ultimately disappoint. But, as my unusual metaphor above suggests, this thing was sour and way too tart. Trying to eat this with food would definitely not be recommended.
Well, I thought my job here was done, until I stumbled upon the official
Freek website. Take a look at this shit:
I don’t even have to tell you how utterly ridiculous this is! I’m serious, this is actually from their corporate website. I had to superimpose two images together, but this is all right from Freek headquarters. Each flavor has their own bio describing their distinctive individual personality. Psycho is “your Mother’s worst Nightmare and your sister’s bad boy crush”? Wait, so, you’re saying he’s a date rapist with tattoos? But, lest we forget his softer side, Psycho “enjoys breeding guinea pigs in his down time.”
This is too surreal to comprehend right now. As outrageous as this is, these guys are doing something right. Any company who takes time to Photoshop kneepads on a soft drink can is one that I’m totally down with.
Overall Grade: C+
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