Sometime during my teenage years I lost my appetite for cereal. It was not a conscious decision on my behalf—it just happened. Years went by without a single bowl of milky joy. Even now, with the exception of seasonal favorites like Boo Berry, it’s rare to find any cereal in my immediate vicinity. But, there it was, a few weeks back, while strolling through the grocery store some adorable seals captured my eye and heart, and subsequently my wallet. Boxes depicted several different animal themes, such as Safari, but I was convinced that Marine would bring the most to my breakfast.
Another factor that played into the purchase was the simple, small text blurb, part of which said, “vanilla-chocolate whole grain cereal.” You’re probably thinking big deal, right? Well, back when The Addams Family was having a revival in popularity due to major motion pictures and marketing madness, a shortly lived cereal baring their name was released. It was painfully simple; you’ve surely guessed it, just “vanilla-chocolate whole grain cereal.” But, for whatever reason, I loved the stuff; so much, in fact, that when I couldn’t find it anymore on store shelves I completely freaked out. So, secretly I had an ulterior motive to eating this, as I hoped it would recapture some of that cereal magic from so long ago.
The cereal itself is far from transcendent; in fact, it’s agonizingly average. But, like most things, it has pros and cons. On the negative side, the main thing I’ve got against Kellogg’s is their lack of creativity. Seriously, take a look above and count how many animals you can pick out from this bowl? If I tried really hard I could make an argument that one’s a bear on all fours, but for the rest of these, I have no idea what the shapes are hoping to convey. If I was a child I’d be really confused.
Onto the pros, this cereal is a good source of fiber, the box is made of 100% recycled paperboard, and the back (not pictured) has tons of awesome stuff, like trading cards (including a sea turtle, orca, and dolphin!) and word scrambles. There’s even a true or false questionnaire, containing brain ticklers like “Sea lions can sleep both in and out of the water.” Any thing that can distract you from the insipidness of the cereal itself is welcomed. All and all, I think the merging of animals and cereal is an idea rife with potential, but Kellogg’s delivered blasé instead of brilliance.
Overall Grade: C
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