Techno Tacos

Magnificent Toy Theatre presents: 

Techno Tacos

I wrote this a year or two ago and it’s embarrassingly bad.  I thought I’d share.

PLUMBER: 

There isn’t really a lot you can do about it, man.  You know?

TURTLE BOT: 

There must be something.

PLUMBER: 

She’s got a new man now.  Let him deal with her.

TURTLE BOT: 

Yeah.

PLUMBER: 

That’s what we call some of that old bullshit.  But, you see, there are other robots in the technological sea, my friend.

TURTLE BOT: 

But not with microchips like that…

TERRY KENYON: 

Hey, fuckfaces.  What’s new?

PLUMBER: 

Hey, be cool, our buddy here just lost his lady and is feeling low.  Show some compassion you Texas prick.

TERRY KENYON: 

Yeah, sure...  The only thing I’m passionate about is fucking.

TURTLE BOT: 

What in the hell are you?

TERRY KENYON: 

I’m one of those old-fashioned types.  I like to get in the dirt and sweat all day.  Come home to a fine beer and a finer piece of ass.

PLUMBER: 

There’s nothing wrong with putting in a hard day’s work, but your vision of females is disgusting.

TERRY KENYON: 

Don’t tell me you’ve never put a wrench in a girl after you finished fixing her sink.  I know you like to clean those pipes.

TURTLE BOT: 

Why are friends with this guy again?

TERRY KENYON: 

My natural good looks?

PLUMBER: 

You’re an idiot, Terry.  Turtle Bot, don’t worry, you’ll find true love soon enough.

TERRY KENYON: 

Right, and I’ve got four green testicles.

TURTLE BOT: 

You’ve got four green testicles?

TERRY KENYON: 

No.  I was trying to be ironic.

PLUMBER: 

Well, I think I’m going to call it a night guys.  I’ve got some janitorial duties tomorrow morning I have to attend to.

TURTLE BOT: 

Later Plumber.

TERRY KENYON: 

Adios ass.

TURTLE BOT: 

You’re really something else you know that?

TERRY KENYON: 

Man, that’s what I’ve wanted to talk to somebody about.  See, I’m not really this macho dude I brag about to everyone.

TURTLE BOT: 

What are you saying?

TERRY KENYON: 

I’m soft.  I use this tasty exterior and my behavior as a means, a shell if you will, to protect my delicate insides.  I was hurt a lot by girls and bullies as a young lad, and frankly I figured if I couldn’t beat them than I would just join them.  You understand, right?  You old rusty dog you.

TURTLE BOT: 

I guess I can sympathize with your position.

TERRY KENYON: 

Speaking of positions…

TERRY KENYON: 

Hey there asshole!  Nice mask.  You see Cindy’s boobies yet?

TURTLE BOT: 

I can’t believe this guy.

TURTLE BOT: 

True love exists.  I just need to stop thinking with my circuit board and use my heart instead.  I’ve got to cancel my subscription to Techno Tacos…