The kind folk at Campbell’s delivered upon us Spaghettio’s and the world’s never been the same; well, at least mine hasn’t. Everyone enjoys eating spaghetti, I mean; it’s a real blast, right? But, Spaghettio’s aggressively took the stakes up another notch, and chanced the concept of turning our favorite Italian dish into proverbial playtime. As a kid, I ate my share of Spaghettio’s, but the sauce was so bland that they never really stuck a major cord with my powerhouse of a palate and I. So, as an adult, I’ll usually skip over Spaghettio’s; instead, I’ll grab a couple random TV dinners, because they’re just so simple to prepare, and that means more time on the futon watching Scrubs, and less time in the kitchen fussing with stoves and things.
What possessed me to go out of my way and purchase Spaghettio’s? They signed a deal with the devil, that’s why! Okay, not the devil exactly, that just sounded cool; they have, however, inked a temporary partnership with DC Comics, or some Warner Bros. subsidiary, giving birth to the greatest team-up since Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippin dominated courts in Chicago in the mid-90’s… of course, I’m talking about freaking Batman and Spaghettio’s!
What do you do while you’re preparing something in the microwave? Now, that’d be a study I would be interested in. For instance, do you just stand there, silently observing the wonder of technology? Do you do something to occupy the time, like a small dance, or flipping through the newspaper? As you can see, my microwave hosts a variety of objects on the top of its surface. We usually discard random restaurant takeout menus there, etc. I guess it’s my apartment’s temple of trivialities. Well, there and under my bed, but you don’t want to see what’s underneath that…
Anyway, below we’re going to take a look at the six elusive “fun shapes” Campbell’s sold me on; they didn’t totally disappoint, but they certainly didn’t hit a homerun, either. These oddly shaped pastas will definitely leave a lasting impression upon me, but I’m not saying that’s an entirely good thing.
Batman – The dark knight himself, cape and cowl, and all of that jazz. I need to first mention that all of these pasta interpretations of characters are of those from the relatively new animated series The Batman; thus, some of their signature looks are altered from their original counterparts. This particular Batman and his subsequent suit are much more sleek and slender, and his pasta equivalent is arguably the best of the entire bunch.
Batmobile – In no matter what incarnation that’s done, whether it’s a comic book, motion picture, cartoon, or pasta shape… you’ve got to include the greatest vehicle of all time! No, I’m not talking about Knight Rider; I’m speaking of the trusty Batmobile, of course. Batman has always been known for his countless array of gimmicks, weapons, and ridiculously expensive vehicles. The Batmobile was his magnum opus, his masterwork, so to speak. Now, it’ll be forever immortalized as a pasta shape.
The Joker – We’re not talking about your daddy’s Joker, in the series The Batman, this new version of the classic villain has wild hair and a penchant for being truly maniacal. Although to the untrained eye, his pasta counterpart may look a little like comedian Carrot Top, it’s actually a pretty accurate representation of Joker’s macabre visage.
The Penguin – Yes, believe it or not, that is in fact The Penguin himself. The only clue that’s noticeable enough to call attention onto itself is the signature eyeglass, and perhaps also, the perfunctory hat. Out of all the comic book characters ever, The Penguin’s real name is near the top of my list of favorites, the nefarious name Oswald Cobblepot just rolls off of my tongue.
Batwave – I honestly have no clue what a Batwave is, so, I can’t really comment on its respective pasta shape. I tried to do a little research online, but only came upon a bunch of sites unveiling the news of an interactive Batwave toy; so, I’m assuming in the series it’s utilized as some sort of communication device by Batman. Looks like I’ve got the first item for my Christmas list…
Bane – Last, and certainly not least, is the villain Bane. Made popular in the comic books for being a huge powerhouse, who went on to break Bruce Wayne’s back, and almost end the career of Batman; in the new cartoon, as a human he was a volunteer for genetic testing, which went awry (of course) and he became a virtually indestructible juggernaut. Although his pasta shape is one of the more obscure, it’s a personal favorite of mine; although, I’d be awfully hard pressed to come up with a reason why.
For those of you living in a cave the past decade, there’s a picture of what your typical Spaghettio’s look like; also pictured, a delicious meatball, which looks strangely like a dog testicle. I’ve been working on this article for days, am extremely tired, and have my first day of work at my new job in the morning, so I’m going to wrap it up now. In conclusion, as you can see from the final image, it isn’t a complete meal, nor tastes particularly pleasant. But, it isn’t often you get an opportunity to tell your friends you spent your Friday night eating the Batmobile, is it?
Overall Grade: B-