Thursday, July 24, 2008

Bad Frozen Food

It’s a great feeling to walk into my apartment, spent from a long day of work, and go into the kitchen and pick something out for a meal.  The sheer convenience and relatively cheap prices of frozen foods make them a good option, especially since I’m lacking in culinary skills.  But, more and more, I’m finding frozen foods to be foes and not friends.  Last month as I was knee-deep in momentum from the site’s re-launch, I literally took pictures of every food item I ate, hoping to eventually get around to reviewing them all.  While most of the pictures will likely sit idle on my hard drive, I’ve rounded up a few to demonstrate my increasing disappointment towards frozen foods.

From Michelina’s Signature series comes this edible entry into the world of frozen food.  My impression from the box was of a quick, yet savory meal that had both meat and potatoes, thus I rationalized it’d be a suitable and satisfying snack.  The verbiage used to describe the food within suggests a party for your palette, tossing around words like “seasoned potatoes”, “creamy gravy”, and my favorite, “white chicken fritter.”

Looking at our meal in its unthawed, frozen form makes the whole thing seem a little less appetizing.  But at this point I still held on to some hope, as everything advertised was there, albeit it hard and icy.

Oh, now come on, what the hell is this?  You’ve got to be kidding me!  I spent a couple bucks on this putrid pile of pestilence?  Looking like something The Toxic Avenger would leave behind in a bathroom, this was the final result of my frozen fantasy being turned into a dinner debacle.

All right, this one seems to be playing it a bit safer, also from Michelina’s I tried their take on Stuffed Cheese Rigatoni.  Seems pretty inconspicuous, right?

Is this some kind of a joke?  It’s a pretty surreal feeling effortlessly holding your Italian dinner in your hand.

Well, before starting the cooking process, things weren’t looking too bright on this outing either.  I tossed my frozen cube into a pan and sent it on its way.

Now this looks a little more like it!  The sauce is bright and appears hearty, the pasta presumably puffy and full of delicate and delicious cheese, what could possibly go wrong?

Good grief!  It all got stuck to the pan, the final result being a bowl of clumpy slop posed as haute cuisine.  I think I need to start learning how to really cook for myself.

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