I know, Christmas is over, and you’re probably sick and tired of Charlie freaking Brown, and his yearly attempt at understanding the materialism of Christmas, not to mention his adoration of a tiny tree that nobody else believed in. He may be a “blockhead” to some, but he’s won a spot in my heart, and the holidays wouldn’t be the same without spinning a Peanuts DVD, and believing that, one day, he will finally kick that damn football Lucy’s always tricking him with.
Honestly, sometimes I feel like Charlie Brown myself. I walk around, observing everyone else, appearing almost as if they’re oblivious, while I try to figure out this big, crazy world from the confines of my mind. I have lots of questions. Again, just like Charlie Brown, I think my first one should be: why the fuck is my beagle dressed like a World War II-era pilot, and secondly, why do all adults’ voices sound like an infant doing a trumpet solo?
Here’s our guy… Charlie Brown! After watching A Charlie Brown Christmas a couple nights ago, I can confirm that they’ve got his outfit portrayed accurately. I remember penning a story titled, “You Lost Your Virginity, Charlie Brown!” back in junior high; I never had the guts to turn it in, though.
Here are our accessories, although there’s not a lot here, there’s really not much more you could ask for. We get the aforementioned seminal classic tiny tree, which inspires an entire group of children to commit the crime of stealing (Snoopy’s gaudy collection of lights and decorations) to garnish it, and then hum holiday tunes in freezing temperatures. In fact, they’re both the same tree, just a “before” and “after” snapshot so to speak, which would increase my Christmas cheer twofold, if it was not 3:30AM.
A line of toys based upon the Peanuts characters is cool to some of us, but to spice up the concept to non-fans, perhaps, or just for the hell of it… they decided to release each character with a different facial expression. I saw the “happy” version of Peppermint Patty, the frown depicting “sad” version of Sally, etc. This is apparently the “high” version of Charlie Brown. He’s obviously extremely happy, if not a bit goofy looking, and his eyes are shut to hide further evidence of his exploits. He even adjusted his own hat, to show that he too is “gutter” and “street”, or whatever kids are screaming out of car windows at each other these days. Personally, I know I represent my Great Pumpkin clique out there in Hoboken, and my bowling league buddies from Poughkeepsie—but I digress.
Here’s a look at Charlie in action, cajoling (I just realized how hilarious the word “cajole” is) his coveted tree with love. This picture makes me almost as happy as when I went to the drive-in theatre to see White Men Can’t Jump, and got both nachos and a hot dog a the concession stand!
Charlie Brown: Eat my shorts!
Brian: Wait a second, Charlie; if I’m not mistaken, that line belongs to another iconic cartoon character, named Bart Simps…
Charlie Brown: Don’t have a cow, man!
Brian: Good grief!
Overall Grade: A