Monday, January 17, 2005

Rap Snacks

Life is in it’s own unique way an adventure… and much like Christopher Columbus and his many discoveries, I believe we’ve stumbled upon our very own goldmine; behold… Rap Snacks!
Ms. Toi – Sweeties 

Ms. Toi graces this bag’s front; wearing a choker, huge hoop earrings, and an Inglewood cut-off tee… this tells us one of two things; she’s a fashion conscious sister, or, she’s from another planet.  The chips, apparently flavored after mystery taste known only to us mere humans as “Sweeties”, is lacking in many areas.  The most obvious is… they’re inedible!  The taste coming in somewhere between sweet and savory, the overall chip lacks definition, and isn’t crunchy enough to service my chip needs.

Overall Grade: C

Lil’ Romeo – Bar-b-quin’ with my Honey 

Whoever came up with the name “Bar-b-quin’ with my Honey” is either a genius, or a mental patient.  Lil’ Romeo, loved by UPN watchers worldwide, adorns the cover… and in the background is a derivative cityscape.  These chips, as far as actual snacks go, weren’t that bad.  If, for instance, I was at a party in a bowl of these were offered for consumption… I’d easily mistake them for some generic brand BBQ chip.

Overall Grade: B

Magic – Honeydew Cheese Curls 

Magic appears on the cover of this bag, appearing as though he say… just robbed a grocery store, or perhaps mugged an old woman.  But, doesn’t he look cool?  Representing some serious “ice”, this modern day rap goliath stands defiantly… urging you to try his particular snack variety.  Although my partners strongly disagree with me, these were, in fact… my favorite!  The name itself peaked my interests to new unforeseen heights… Honeydew Cheese Curls?  If something this obscure exists than something is definitely right in this country.  The taste, although nothing like the green fruit Honeydew, is actually a lot like the other two aforementioned flavors… a very blasé BBQ with hints of ass.

Overall Grade: B+

In conclusion… these things are great.  I mean, you don’t buy these generally speaking for your lunch, or as a late night snack.  You buy these… because, well; they’re downright ridiculous!   Touted proudly as the official snack of hip-hop, it leaves me wondering what the official snacks of jazz, heavy metal, and polka might produce?  Hopefully we’ll never find out the answer to that question… I don’t think our stomachs could handle it.

Overall Grade: A- 

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