Thursday, June 2, 2005

Bad Guyz

Who and what are Bad Guyz?  Perhaps I can shed a little light on this question.  What makes someone worthy of rolling with Bad Guyz?  Well, from looking at our friend here some answers seem a little clearer.  Bald heads and goatees are tough; that fact was established long ago at long forgotten bar fight fiascos.  But what else qualifies?  Having a license plate screwed into your prison uniform seems like a good a place to start as any.  On a side note, if somebody out there has the address 1728 please e-mail me immediately.  Barcode tattoos are certainly “bad”, at least in some form of the definition of the word.  Being shackled with a huge blue ball and chain helps your image, if you’re going for the new “maniacal psychopathic escaped convict” fashion that’s so chic this summer.  Rounding out this ensemble wardrobe are boots, kneepads (insert prison sex joke here) and a freaking gold belt!  I almost forgot… ridiculously huge machine gun that’s bigger than your entire upper torso that you can’t even properly hold.

I guess I can see the appeal behind the Bad Guyz line.  Young boys like rebellious things, and albeit borderline absurd, I guess this guy qualifies in some regards.  He’s a good generic villain, if you’re looking for an action figure to have your G.I. Joe toys beat up in an epic battle.  Upon closer examination it’s revealed that our tough guy’s gold belt has a buckle that strangely resembles a calculator… this is just getting too weird.  Although we’re far off from the holidays, I’d recommend Bad Guyz for stocking stuffers to put a little edge on your gift giving reputation.

Overall Grade: C+ 

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