Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Red’s (Ross, OH)

My friend Steve told me about a ridiculously tiny place that served these monstrous hamburgers.  One day we embarked there together, he was eager to show me this place and I was very eager to see it firsthand.  Now, it’s not your typical restaurant per se, let us establish that fact immediately.  In fact, it’s located inside a dingy little convenience store in the middle of nowhere.  The counter is near the back, and you order your food while standing alongside beer marketing standees and crates of assuredly near expiration Gatorade.

Standing on a floor that screams to be mopped, you try to stare at the chip or candy aisle to avoid direct communication with the employees.  The group working on this particular day was all female, ranging from 17 to 29 years of age I’d wager, and all extremely hyperactive and loud.  In fact, I saw them all occasionally stealing bites of food themselves, which was kind of unnerving.  I decided against ordering a drink, and bought a Snapple from the store portion instead, where I was promptly helped by one of the aforementioned girls a few feet away at the other register.

So, we finally get our food, and we sit in this little designated area amidst stacks of cases of sodas, while some lame sports documentary airs on an old television set in the corner.  This was one of the weirdest locales I’ve ever had a meal in… and that covers a lot of ground.

Anyway, let’s talk about the food!  Steve and I both ordered the bacon burger and fried mushrooms.  Steve had told me in great length about this sandwich, and how they literally covered the thing in bacon.  He wasn’t kidding!  I’d never eaten this much bacon in one sitting… period!  And if you find that hard to believe, can you fathom they actually offer a double bacon burger on their menu?  The fried mushrooms were pretty swell, complimented nicely by dipping them in ranch sauce.  It’s rare when I can’t finish a meal, but I just couldn’t complete the burger while keeping my sanity intact.  Overall, I’d recommend this to those in the surrounding area, or the more adventurous type looking for a bizarre eatery.  I intend on returning one day, and maybe I’ll conquer the bacon burger in our fateful rematch…

Overall Grade: B+ 

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