Monday, February 7, 2005

Power Rangers: Dino Thunder – Vol. #5 – Triassic Triumph

This, the 5th installment of the Dino Thunder series on DVD, is about what you’d expect.  That is to say, there are plenty of outrageous plot devices, lame monsters, bad campy dialogue, and teamwork.  This version of the popular Power Rangers franchise started strong, initially capturing some of the feel and excitement of the very first series (Mighty Morphin Power Rangers) but quickly fizzling out and becoming routinely weak.  The core characters aren’t that likeable; especially Kira, the angst filled teenage girl whose rebellious sensibilities lead her to perform her own rock shows on occasion, as well as serve her duties as the yellow ranger.  Not that everything is bad, though, don’t get me wrong, this DVD as well as the series has it’s share of highlights… although personally, I don’t think it compares to some of my favorite past incarnations like Power Rangers: Wild Force and Power Rangers: Lightspeed Rescue.  The bonus features don’t change much at all from one volume to the next; a couple lame trailers, an atrocious dojo seminar segment, and a sneak peak at the next series Power Rangers: SPD rounds out the bonuses.  Overall, you know what you’re getting into, so if you’re a Power Rangers fan, give it a shot.  If you’re not a fan, find one, and then beat him up… or any random stranger will do.

Overall Grade: B- 

Saturday, February 5, 2005

Action Wrestlers

Professional wrestling already has a hard enough time being taken seriously without these excuses for action figures circulating around your local dimly lit dollar store.  The packaging was very dull, and the back was entirely cardboard with absolutely no text whatsoever.

Of course, if this guy's a professional wrestler he must have a steel chair handy.  Now, this chair is red, and I'm not sure if that's any indication of his sexual predilection or not.  I'm guessing he just works as a painter for a second job, when the grappling gig isn't paying the bills.  Secondly, get a real good look at those kneepads.  They're skin colored!  Wow, now let's forget the ruby chair and focus our attention on these fashion gems.  Maybe he's working some type of chameleon gimmick, or maybe he's just got really bad arthritis in his knees and they've swollen up in the shape of safety equipment?

This, my friends, is the stare of death.  You'll usually get this when asking our buxom buddy for an autograph, or if you interrupted his daily morning McGriddle marathon.  But, you've got to admire that physique!

Underneath his rough and rowdy exterior, this "action wrestler" is really just a sweetheart inside.  When he's not bashing other oily men's skulls and bludgeoning prostitutes with his steel chair, he cuddles with it at night and falls asleep in it's iridescent red glory.

This was admittedly pretty damn dumb.  I like wrestling as much as the average teenage guy, but even I have limitations when it comes to arguably the weirdest television event ever conspired by men wearing suits in a Holiday Inn banquet room.  The packaging was laughable, and if actually played with, the toy itself would break within the first 10 minutes of slamming action.  I was impressed by the purple facial paint, though.  Way to strike fear into your opponents, tough guy!

Overall Grade: C- 

Thursday, February 3, 2005

Johnny Rocket’s (Cincinnati Mills)

This theme restaurant tries to capture that 50’s hamburger joint vibe and does so with moderately good results.  After a small wait to get in, we were seated inside.  The menu isn’t what you’d call extensive, but for a place like this does it really need to be?  There are miniature jukeboxes at every table, and for 5 cents you can play a song… I went with “Mrs. Robinson” by Paul Simon.  The ordering process was rather uncomplicated, and while waiting for our food I looked around and took a couple snapshots.

Now, let’s talk about the food.  Our onion rings were served with ranch sauce, which seemed like an unusual choice, but the end result was one of the tastiest parts of the meal.  These things are good, but once they get colder they’ll taste greasier and that’s to be avoided at all costs.  My fries came with a smiley face made in ketchup, thanks to our waitress whose parents probably weren’t even alive in the famed 50’s.  My entrĂ©e?  A burger, of course!  Although not my first choice, for some odd reason I was enticed to order the “St. Louis” which is what I got.  This specialty burger is no joke; it’s good, and the bacon is a highlight, yet there’s a rather tasteless orange sauce slathered on for good measure.  The drinks were sup par; too little ice for such a big glass, they get flat a lot quicker.

My impressions overall are as follows… I had a pretty good time.  We were there during lunch, so it was understandably busy, but I’d like to see what’s it like during a slow period.  Our waitress wasn’t doing a real good job, but granted it seemed like all the employers were swamped and rushed.  I like theme restaurants; it’s a nice change of pace, and this one works pretty well.  As far as American eating goes, the quality of the food here is definitely worth a little cash.  I’d recommend coming in high spirits, too, because this place usually tends to be hopping.

Overall Grade: B+ 

Tuesday, February 1, 2005

Hot Pockets – Chicken, Cheddar, and Broccoli

I’m getting home late at night from work; I’m hungry… and what’s in the freezer?  Inside I find the left foot of my ex-girlfriend and a box of Hot Pockets.  Which would you eat?

After baking this thing thoroughly I put it on the plate with a frown.  I didn’t even want to chew the first bite up.  What I did find, though, is that Hot Pockets aren’t necessarily evil.  Sure… they’re easy, which is nice, but depending on the contents of your Hot Pockets you might actually enjoy them.  I wasn’t too thrilled with mine, but I ate it regardless and thought back fondly to a kid in junior high that was dubbed “Hot Pockets” for another reason entirely.

Overall Grade: C