Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Creepy Classics - The Curse of the Werewolf toy

Well, it’s Halloween time and I run a website, so I figured the least I could do was write something Halloween related.  But, this assignment quickly turned from task to something indubitably better.  I went to the local Dollar Tree, and for those unfortunate enough to not have one nearby, you’re missing out on a treasure trove of cheap goodness.  They had a relatively impressive collection of Halloween goods, ranging from bulk candy, to stretchable vampires, and so on.  But, having only a dollar in my wallet, I had to choose wisely.  My choice?  Look above, and just maybe, you’ll feel what I felt when I first laid eyes upon this miniature wolf/man hybrid behind a plastic prison.  Much like a common prostitute, he was begging to be freed and fondled, but not necessarily in that order.

The first major misconception I had was that I prematurely assumed I was taking home a figurine based upon the famous film The Wolf Man (1941).  I was mistaken.  As you’ll see on the left, that’s the most recognizable werewolf of them all, from the aforementioned horror masterpiece.  So, if not him, what werewolf did I now own?  Peer upon the mysterious austere figure to the right for the answer to that query.  From the film The Curse of the Werewolf (1961), I now owned Leon Corledo, which sounds neither scary nor appropriate to me.

At first, before doing the proper research, I must admit I wasn’t particularly awestruck by this figurine.  The attention to detail provided nice touches, but overall, it wasn’t doing much to warrant its admittedly cheap price.  Once I found out that it was in fact based upon an actual film, and that my werewolf wasn’t wearing dress clothes for the hell of it, I was definitely more satisfied.  Based upon what meager photos I could find of the film, the figurine’s ripped shirt and pointy ears are extremely close to its cinematic counterpart.

In fact, here’s a side-by-side comparison of our wolf-like pal Leon in his two unique forms.  You’ve got to admit, just the fact that now, 45 years later, this obscure horror character is being immortalized as a figurine sold exclusively in dingy dollar stores is kind of bizarre enough to be noteworthy.

Even after the ghoulish holiday is over, Leon Corledo now has a permanent home on my stove amongst the spices.  Subsequently, to make him feel more at home, I ripped the shirt I’m wearing now to shreds.

Thus ends Review the World’s foray into the wicked world of Halloween for 2006.  I made this rad image for you all as a token of my sincere and genuine appreciation of your support.  Although we weren’t deeply steeped in the holiday on the site, it’s always been one of my personal favorites; also, albeit a bit premature, I do already have some great ideas for next October.

In conclusion, if anyone’s got a copy, be it an original or homemade dub, of The Curse of the Werewolf (2013 edit: No need I finally tracked it down!) and be willing to mail it to me I’d be forever grateful.  I’d also be remiss not to recommend my all-time favorite werewolf film to anybody looking for a fun horror movie, and that’d be The Howling (1981), which is available on DVD.  I hope everyone has a swell Halloween.

Overall Grade: B+ 

Friday, October 20, 2006

Make Your Own! Gummy Pizza

I saw this at my local hangout, which is the dollar store, and as undeniably sad as that disclosure is, this particular finding was certainly a good thing.  Nobody can pinpoint when the gummy invasion of our candy aisles started, but there’s no denying it.  You can find gummy hotdogs, hamburgers, eggs, etc.; hell, I’d wager if you looked hard enough you could even find yourself a gummy penis.

Here’s our pizza sans toppings, and while it’s not necessarily an eyesore, I think it’d look much better with a little pizzazz.  Pizza with pizzazz!  That’s genius.

We’ve got some sour, slimy fluid that is supposed to represent pizza sauce.  It’s ridiculously sticky, as are some of the best things in life.  Think about it.

The cheese comes in the form of thousands of minuscule particles of sugary goodness.  There was way more given than necessary, but that’s not a complaint, just the stating of a fact.  And, for the record, you can call off the Internet poll – the moon isn’t made of cheese, it’s made of moon.

Here’s my favorite part… the toppings!  Also, focus your eyes momentarily on the finished product.  You’ve got to admit that it looks rather tasty, and I can personally guarantee that it was hand tossed.  While waiting for a bus once, this guy wearing a denim jacket told me that he liked his women like he liked his pizza, “deep dish.”  To this day, I’ve got no idea what that meant.

Late in the game, I noticed I had this miniature spoon.  The only cooler than a miniature spoon would have been a miniature pizza cutter.

Amanda was the first to try a slice, and seemed to find it moderately satisfying.

I went next (rocking the Scotland t-shirt) and thought that it was the greatest thing I’d tasted since the last great thing that I’d tasted.  Which I think was Cherry 7-Up, because that stuff is yummy personified.

I thought out of all of the toppings, this little mushroom was king, and kind of adorable in its own way.  That’s why I sacrificed it to a nearby Tyrannosaurus.  Then we went outside to toss Frisbee, and wax philosophical about jazz records and our nation’s foreign policies.  That was until he prematurely ruined the day, by eating a nearby civilian taking a walk.  Dinosaurs make bad friends.

Overall Grade: B+ 

Monday, October 16, 2006

Survival of the Filthiest

In a pumpkin patch I was born -- I ate peanut shells and chain-link fences -- Roadkill with a gasoline chaser -- The local dump was my savior -- Dill pickle daydream -- Poison ivy became my only friend -- We'd go down the slide together and get our pants wet -- Hanging upside down from the monkeybars I saw my first love -- A garbage can with a rotting shoe and fish head sticking out

Didn't eat fast food until I was ten -- After devouring the meal I ate the wrapper and cup -- Never had a milkshake, but enjoyed sprinklers on summer days -- Always wanted steak, usually settled for dog -- Had dreams of becoming a mechanic -- Ended up having to blow one to get change for the bus -- Couldn't afford a TV -- Watched broken glass and rocks in deserted alleys -- Once found a dollar -- Bought a pack of gum and hope

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Me vs. Scotland - Part #2

Saturday, March 12, 2005 - Stayed in bed for a while upon waking up... just thinking. Had breakfast with the family; scrambled eggs, sausage, tomatoes, toast, etc. Steve's family has four season tickets to Celtic soccer games, which Celtic soccer over here is so huge.

His aunt and uncle took us to a game.

The stadium was really cool, there was people everywhere, wearing the colors (green and white) of the home team. Steve and I got two large Coke sodas and 2 "Rollovers" (long-ass hot dogs on French bread).

Once inside the stadium it's a breathtaking spectacle, all the people (60,000+) and the open field itself. The Celtic team won 6-0 in an awesome performance. Hurried back to the car in attempt to beat traffic, by the time we got back home Steve and I both felt wiped out and took naps. Got up a couple hours later and ordered Chinese for dinner.

I tried chicken curry for the first time, it was a little spicy but tasty, and I had bean sprouts, fried rice, etc. A little later uncle William wanted to take us to one of his favorite places. It was this little pub with a bar and one lone pool table where all eyes were on you. I had a Smirrinof Ice and looked around, this place wasn't Steve's scene, he ended up playing a video gambling game. The atmosphere was all mahogany wood and really old guys sitting around talking about the economy, or whatever. I played the resident pool champ and only sunk one ball in a rather brutal beating. Steve and I walked home around 10:30PM, watched a little TV, and then I got online for a while to catch up on a couple things. I'm writing this now as Steve's on the computer, Kieran (a.k.a. Crazy Frog, Deep Dish, Meat Lover's, Pizza Face) is asleep on the floor, and I'm getting ready to hit the sack after a pretty laid back day.

Sunday, March 13, 2005 - Today was fantastic.

We got up early, had breakfast, then loaded into the car. Steve's aunt and uncle, Kathleen, Steve, and I went out to soak in a little culture.

Our first stop was the Glasgow Transport Museum and we were there when they opened the doors. This place was so cool; it features old cars, trains, bikes, ships, and other forms of transportation.

I really liked the way it was set up, there was a lot of space and so much to see. I was particularly fond of the boat miniature replicas, from Viking ships to navel vessels. Afterward we were headed to Loch Lomond, but decided to head to Stirling. We almost wrecked, some guy pulled a dumb move, and we went off the road and almost hit a sign. Everyone commented how calm I remained, which is just me.

We stopped at this pub named Buchlyvie Inn for lunch and had a good time.

I ordered the prawn cocktail, which was totally different from it's American counterpart, and breaded mushrooms. The food was tasty, and the setting/atmosphere fantastic.

We went to the William Wallace Memorial which was been the trip highlight thus far.

Out front is a monument designed with the likeliness of Wallace portrayed by Mel Gibson in Braveheart.

We went into a little shop where I got some patches and stickers, then took a very tiring uphill walk to the castle/memorial.

After finally making it to the top, Kathleen, Steve and I paid 6.00£ to enter. We had to go up this tiny spiral staircase, each floor with it's individual treasures, the highlight being Wallace's actual broadsword, which was gigantic.

Life changing moment ahead... at the very top of the towering spiral of a castle held some of the most beautiful views I've seen. I've seen L.A., New York, Miami, and so many more, but this was... wow. Standing on the main platform the strong wind nearly knocked you over, and the air... so cold but strangely amazingly comforting. I didn't want to go back down.

Stood up there for quite a while soaking it in. Steve gave me a genuine hug, I know he originally really didn't want to get up early to take in sights, but I could tell he definitely was glad he did. Got home, then left again, as Kathleen, Steve, and I got dropped off at Time Capsule. This place has an ice arena, soccer, etc. but the reason we went was the in-door waterpark. This thing shattered any and all expectations. A wave pool, a variety of slides, waterfalls, Ice Age water exhibit (freezing), hot springs, etc. We let loose and enjoyed ourselves.

Got picked up, and on the way home stopped at a small restaurant where I got my first official order of fish and chips. The taste was fine, but way too greasy overall... although I'm not opposed to trying more elsewhere. Steve left the house for a couple hours and I was on the Internet for a solid chunk of the night, drinking tea and happily reading and writing. It's 3:00AM, we're chilling in a dark room, and we've got to get up for a huge day tomorrow. In the morning, we train to Edinburgh, which I hope to be an unforgettable experience.