Somebody told me Farm Rich mozzarella breaded cheese sticks were good—somebody lied. Now, I don’t know about you all (especially the guy in the “I’m With Stupid” t-shirt with an arrow pointing towards his general crotch area) but when I bite into a cheese stick, I want it to equal the combined awesomeness of Captain America’s shield and Thor’s mighty hammer. Do you comprehend?
What does Farm Rich mean, anyhow? Are we talking about a rich farm, and if so, my studies in Anthropology would have me believe that’d be referring to the quality of the soil on said farm. Anyway, I digress, as now I can’t shake the mental image of some farmer tickling cattle with my breaded sticks of cheese.
Here you get a view of the sticks in my oven right as I put them in for cooking purposes. It’s pretty self explanatory, really; but don’t ask about what other things I’ve breaded and baked in there. My culinary adventures are best kept secret, at this time, for all of our collective sake.
This picture actually has nothing whatsoever to do with Farm Rich cheese sticks. Amanda just happened to be cooking while I was working on this review, too, and this image enticed me enough on aesthetic value alone to warrant its inclusion.
This is the famed marinara dipping sauce, a true selling point for the Farm Rich brand, as most of its competitors didn’t include sauce with their sticks. After peeling off the foil lid, I popped this bad boy into the microwave, and let the magic happen.
The finished product! You’ll notice that one of the cheese sticks came out looking strangely like a narrow Santa Claus figurine—I’m still trying to figure that out for myself, in all honesty. Judging from the picture, you’d probably guess these things were pretty damn delicious, but boy, would you ever be erroneous! Don’t get me wrong, these things weren’t appalling; the texture, however, was kind of dry, and the overall taste was lacking a lot in the flavor department. I’d rather gnaw on Silver Surfer’s galaxy traversing surfboard than eat Farm Rich’s breaded cheese sticks.
Overall Grade: C-