So, it shouldn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that something like this is totally up my alley, as it were. I was at a dollar store, on a totally unrelated trek, when I stumbled upon this lovely creation near the registers. I threw 100 pennies at the cashier, and sprinted towards my car in pure unadulterated holiday glee.
The gimmick is simple enough, you get six blank snowmen, and two markers; the rest, as they say, is up to you! What kind of wonders, or atrocities, could you create? Imagination is the only boundary, and for a guy who grew up on The Inhumanoids, I’ve sure got plenty of that.
The second photo shows Amanda hard at work, designing a snowman to her own unique liking. Arguably, the best part of these things is in the creativity portion of the event, as eating them sure as hell wasn’t a blast.
Here are your weapons of choice, the rowdy red and glorious green markers that, in the end, determine your snowman’s fate. Will your snowman turn out to be a gruesome gladiator, a jolly princess, or a New York taxicab driver? The possibilities are endless.
First, and foremost, my favorite of the snowmen, Freddy Kruger! If I only had a little brown fedora and some mangled meat to put on his face to represent his burnt exterior it’d be perfect. Secondly, Amanda created this little guy, his limbs are loosely inspired by Cartman of South Park, and I can only imagine his glasses are a subconscious homage to Robin. The third snowman features a lower torso adoring an RtW t-shirt, and highlights of the face include a bloody mouth and laceration.
Here, our first snowman’s painted face reveals his love for The Crow, and his t-shirt is pretty self-explanatory. Amanda created a snowman wearing a bikini, which supplied us with several solid minutes of laughter. Lastly, I did a Charlie Brown snowman. They only supplied us with two colors, so I had to use a highlighter for the shirt. I tried to do his trademark curl of hairs, but his head ended up looking like Gorbachev’s, which is an easy way to get your lunch money stolen.
The second stage is the eating process, or, judging by the accompanying photos, the tentative chewing of your precious creations. If you notice, in the first picture, I have a mark on my cheek from the green marker—it randomly shot out of my hands, as if to say, “slow down, you’re just too damn ingenious!” Amanda gets in on the fun, displaying her cherished thong adorned tropical snowman. The snowmen madness finally overcame, and then ultimately got the best of me, which resulted in my attempt at edible homicide.
During the festivities, we heard some sounds from the kitchen; by the time we arrived, it was already too late. The Freddy Kruger snowman had found his first victim. Take this as a lesson, be careful what kind of snowmen you give birth to, for once they’re on their own, there’s absolutely no controlling them. You thought the Gremlins were crazy? A batch of red and green colored snowmen can cause chaos and ruckus with no equal. You’ve been warned…
Overall Grade: B-